The Sacred Initiation of a Young Woman

In most modern societies there is no celebration, not even acknowledgment, of a girl moving into womanhood. For the most part, young girls are given little help understanding the changes they experience as they go through this transition. Each girl’s unique, individual qualities as a beautiful young woman are certainly not publicly lauded.

The matriarchal Kuna people (or Tule as they call themselves, meaning “people”), however, who have long lived in regions of Panama and Columbia and are one of the largest indigenous groups in Central America to have retained their indigenous culture, show us a wonderful example of a much different experience.

The passage below, from Heide Goettner-Abendroth’s book “Matriarchal Societies”, describes their initiation ceremony for young women. I invite you to contrast this account with your own cultural experience. If you are a woman, put yourself in the place of the young girl in the initiation ceremony, and imagine how it would have made you feel as a young woman. Notice that the celebration is not just for family or close friends; it is enthusiastically participated in by all the men, women and children in the village.

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The most sacred Kuna Festival is “Diwe Inna,” the girls’ initiation into womanhood. For boys, there is no ceremony for the passage into adulthood, and no other Kuna ceremony has as much meaning as this one does. The Diwe Inna festival takes place one year after the puberty ceremony celebrating menarche (which used to be a purely female rite), and constitutes the girl’s initiation into adult womanhood. This is not the wedding ceremony; in fact, that ceremony—quite a simple one—comes later, and includes, among other things, the group game known as “Catch the Groom.” In contrast, the Diwe Inna ceremony is much more significant, and the entire village participates. The girl receives her woman’s name, becomes a full member of the mother clan and of the nation, and learns the matriarchal mythology that undergirds the cosmology of the Kuna.

The symbolism of the Diwe Inna ceremony is directly based on religious belief in the Great Mother Earth. The goddess is the mystery at the beginning of all of life, and the girl in the process of maturating into a young woman corresponds to her. The young woman is now physically, as well as socially, in a position to participate in the continuing creation of life, just like the goddess does; this gives her a share in the renewal of life of the clan, the community, and the world.

In a special closed room, in the presence of twelve other women including her mother, she will be initiated into the most sacred songs, sung by a “kandule,” or song healer. Here she learns that it is not the stag from the rainforest or the dolphin from the sea who brings children; rather, they come from the fusion of female and male eroticism, which is modeled on the example of Mother Earth and her Son-Lover, the sun. The song healer symbolically embodies Ibelele, the sun god, playing on his long, phallic flute. The twelve women accompany him with gourd rattles, the quintessential women’s instrument, because the gourd shape suggests a pregnant belly with its navel, or the female breast with its nipple.

Next, the life story of the young woman is recounted, beginning with her conception, in elaborate song, dance and pantomime. Her “new birth” from the goddess is celebrated, and at the high point of the days-long feast, she receives a newly woven marriage-hammock. It should be noted that at this point in her life her long, maiden’s hair has already been cut by an “iyedule”—a highly respected ceremonial priestess—at the “Disle Inna” festival held when the child is 5 or 6 years old. In this process, locks of her hair fly away like “soul birds” into the Otherworld, perhaps to let the dead know that here is a little girl who will one day grow up into woman, giving them another opportunity for rebirth through her. And even when the hair-cut does not take place until she is older, short hair and the nose ring are the signs of a married woman. Now, at the Diwe Inna, her face and hands are painted with the juice of the sabdur fruit, which is colorless at first but quickly turns black when it dries at the air. She receives her sacred, secret woman-name and is initiated into the secret knowledge of women: menstruation, fertility cycles, pregnancy and childbirth. The male song healer, at this point, is already absent, because the secret knowledge of women is taboo for men. It is connected with knowledge of women’s medicine, and is handed down exclusively from woman to woman; from mother to daughter, or from female healer to her apprentice. There is no comparable secret knowledge for men. Therefore, as the ceremony develops, it is an all women’s ceremony, of which the main role is performed by the iyedule, the priestess, in a dance symbolic of midwifery. After the completion of the spiritual “new birth” the young woman is brought out into the public festivities, and greeted by the crowd with joyful dancing.

In the meantime, the public has not been idle. Each clan is obliged, on the occasion of one of its daughters’ Diwe Inna ceremony, to feed the entire village and to get them drunk on chicha, a type of maize beer. Everything must be available in abundance, to be handed out in the large ceremonial house. Vessels for serving food and drink embody the uterus of the goddess, from whom all abundance comes; the alcoholic beverage is equivalent to her amniotic fluid, from which the spiritually newborn initiate has emerged. It is therefore considered a sacred duty for everyone to drink as much of the “water of life” as possible, in order to take part in the initiate’s rebirth out of the goddess. At the start of the festivities, the initiate will have distributed the first beverage cups, and everyone will have taken their first sip directly from her hand.

In Kuna belief, at the time of the creation of the world, the oceans were made from the amniotic fluid of Mother Earth. So at this celebration, after the first sip from the hand of the initiate, and after much subsequent drinking, dancing and tobacco-smoking to make the sacred ceremonies invisible to evil spirits, there is a great deal of bathing in the sea, in direct contact with the amniotic oceanic fluid of the earth goddess. Afterwards, the participants, dressed in new clothes, continue to dance and drink until the “longed-for child,” the initiate herself, is finally brought into the circle of the celebrating villagers at the end of her ceremony. The feast ends as it began, with dancing, exhilaration and intoxication.

In matriarchal societies, as exemplified by the Kuna, the girl’s initiation is the most important celebration, because by renewing the fertility through the young woman, hopes are fostered for the continuation of life on earth. Every female youth embodies the renewed, life-giving goddess herself. Additionally, the initiate is the embodiment of one of her female clan ancestors, reborn in her, who will now be able to carry forth the life of the clan. Matriarchal societies honor women’s fertility not only because it makes giving birth possible, but primarily because it can give rebirth; that is, it is the ability to transform death into life. It is this spiritual context that gives women their sacredness.

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How did that make you feel? What thoughts arose? Our civilization, characterized by separation, ownership and a rush to modernization and profit, has suffered many losses. It is, however, good to read passages like this with our intuition engaged, feeling into the intrinsic value of honoring the feminine. We CAN reclaim what has been lost.

Above all, this is also an honoring of sexuality, not a hiding or shaming of it. And it celebrates the essence of feminine beauty, rather than reducing beauty to body image. Interestingly, the Kuna only began wearing the bright, ornate molas through missionary influence. Originally, the beautiful designs were worn directly on their skin, sometimes covered with a simple cloth wrap.

The traditional Kuna matriarchal culture, practiced for millennia, continues today in the bush villages of mainland Panama and Columbia and on many islands. The women own the land, handle the economy and the social order is matrilineal and matrilocal.

5 Ways to Touch a Face With Profound Effect

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No, not him, I thought when I looked up and saw him. Not him.

This was my reaction the first time I put our loving touch theory into action.

Early in my contemplations, with Willow, about connections between love and sexual energy I was thinking about how hard it is to generate feelings of love just by looking at someone. Both innately and from our culture, we have it wired into us that it is right to love one another. But sometimes it is hard to conjure up that emotion — that connection — depending on who we are looking at.

I sensed that if I could look at any person and touch their face, with a caress, or light stroke, or cradling, perhaps my love for them would be engaged. Actually touching someone at random, however, would not be appropriate. So I wondered if it would work if I touched them energetically. That is, I wondered if it would work if I simply looked at them and imagined myself physically touching their face lovingly with my fingers.

And so it was that I found myself on a 40 minute B.C. Ferry ride from Langdale to Vancouver, surrounded by people, regarding a large and lumpy, elderly, balding man.

The Universe had, of course, provided me with the perfect first subject: someone who did not fit my profile as easy to love. Not only was he rather unattractive by cultural standards, he was a man! As I said, I immediately turned away. No, I’m not ready for him, I thought for a second. I’ll try again. I’ll find someone more attractive. But then I realized that yes, he was a perfect first test. So I looked up again and embraced his face with my eyes.

I was amazed. As I let my fingers energetically reach out and caress this man’s face, to hold and touch his face lovingly, my regard for him was transformed. I felt his beauty. I felt how he was just like me, full of the same need for love, full of the same scars and wounds, full of the same illusion of separateness that we all have cultivated inside us. A minute ago I would have needed mental gymnastics to generate a feeling of love for him. But now, through the simple imagination of loving physical touch, my love for him flowed.

Since that moment I have tried this practice many times. It works in every case, with whomever I regard. The man-made calibrations of beauty in my head have been challenged often, but a true sense of beauty and love never fails to emerge when I energetically touch each face. I began to tell people to try this practice in the midst of an argument or conflict. Touch the other person’s face, in your mind, and see how it shifts the interaction.

This past week I had the opportunity to take this practice to another level. I was attending Caffyn Jesse’s one-week Intimacy Education workshop on Saltspring Island. It was fantastic in every respect. As part of the work, within a beautifully safe container, we have permission to give voice and choice to the kinds of touch we would like to receive. On the last day I knew I was due for one more session, which, by the way, within the context of this workshop can include full loving erotic engagement. As I had breakfast at a little restaurant called the Tree House, I asked myself, what kind of touch did I really want that day?

The practice of face touching came back into mind. As I thought about it, I wondered what it would feel like to actually have my face touched in love, both for me and the one doing the touching. Would it be as powerful as the energetic touching? Would it be healing in some way? Would it be erotic in some way?

I was excited. As I contemplated what I would ask for, it struck me that the person doing the touching could regard me in several different ways and in each case it might shift the quality of the touching and the emotion generated.

So I came up with the following five ways for the person to caress and hold and touch my face, with curiosity and love, finding the beauty:

1. Touch my face lovingly as me, as who I am.
2. Touch my face lovingly as every human, with love for the human race.
3. Touch my face lovingly as someone you have forgiven.
4. Touch my face lovingly as someone you need to ask forgiveness from.
5. Touch my face lovingly as you, as you would lovingly touch your own face.

I thought about who I would like to touch me in this way, who was right for this instance, and a couple who were attending came to mind.

I had a strong inkling it was going to be powerful. But I had no idea how deep it would be.

The couple enthusiastically agreed to my request. As I laid on the massage table, the man and the woman each took 15 minutes to cycle through the touch perspectives, telling me when they shifted from one to the next. Almost immediately, when I felt their fingers gently touch my face, I was filled with emotion. When I opened my eyes, to momentarily look into theirs as they touched, the emotion intensified. Our hearts became deeply connected. When they touched in the framework of forgiveness, tears flowed freely.

It was an honor to “stand in” for the human race, for those forgiven, for those who need to be asked for forgiveness, for themselves. I felt cleansed. I felt healed in some inexplicable way. Bathed in their love, I floated on a sensation of bliss for 30 minutes. This is how it is meant to be, I thought. And their experience touching me was equally profound.

When we shared our experience with the rest of the group, everyone was moved. We were given the opportunity to touch the two facilitator’s faces from these various perspectives as a thank you and farewell. Once again it had deep impact.

Trying to love without physical connection is difficult. But reach out and actually touch someone with an intention to love, and that deep, innate, pure love that energizes all of life will get plugged in. Our minds get taken offline. Our hearts get powerfully engaged.

This will become a common ritual at our loving sexual energy Discovery Weekends. I invite you to try touching someone’s face in this way, whether energetically — which you can do basically anywhere, at work, on buses or rapid transit, on the street — or physically with someone willing, within a safe “container”. Try touching someone who is sick, or someone at the end of life, or someone you love, or someone you don’t like, or someone you’ve never met before. Try touching each other’s face from the five perspectives listed above. Pure, healing love will flow.

Nonmonogamy is Scary as Hell

Yes, nonmonogamy is scary.

That is, having more than one intimate, open relationship at a time, while your partners are doing the same, can be scary as hell. 

Especially if you consider one of your partners to be your sweetheart, your true love, your other half, your soul mate... or, dare I say it, your twin flame.

Because to try open nonmonogamy is to is risk loss. You risk the loss of the person you cherish most dearly in your life; the person who so deeply meets your needs; the person you can talk with about anything; the person who is perhaps your lifetime love. Opening up your relationship means your soul mate might find a better soul mate. Or they might discover a more identical ‘twin flame’. Ultimately, they may LEAVE you.

Isn’t that the terrible potential of nonmonogamy?

At the heart of the matter is our struggle with the definition of true love. Is it found by letting someone be completely free, without boundaries (because after all, isn’t true love unconditonal)? Or is it found in commitment, in the importance of an unbreakable bond, that deepens trust and depth, no matter what?

What if both are possible?

Dieter Duhm and Sabine Lichtenfels have been exploring the notion of ‘free love’ within their Tamera ecovillage communities for the past 20 years.

Duhm writes: “We human beings do not only want free sexuality, we often also want a stable and lasting partnership – ‘until death do we part.’”  

He observes that the archetypal image of marriage—the eternal relationship between one man and one woman—is deeply anchored in the human psyche and has been with us so long that it makes this longing natural. Plus, we all know of examples of where this one man-one woman relationship has been lived to its true potential. And so, it remains a deep ‘missing’ until its fulfillment.

So how does this longing impact the Tamera communities, which practice ‘free love’? Duhm says, “A community will very surely fail if it fully relies on free sexuality while ignoring this deep longing.  Here we can apply Hegel’s dialectic theory: thesis – antithesis – synthesis.  Marriage [read, monogamy] [is] the thesis; free sexuality [nonmonogamy] [is] the antithesis; and the synthesis consists of a new system in which thesis and antithesis are dissolved or united on a higher level.”

He sums up the guiding principle of the communities as this: “Free sexuality and partnership do not exclude each other; they complement one another. One who lives in a solid relationship does not need to be afraid of losing their partner due to other sexual contacts; and one who lives in free sexuality does not need to be afraid of [potentially] missing out on the happiness of a stable partnership.”

In other words, he is suggesting that a synthesis of the two opposite and compelling aspects of love – freedom and committed, lasting partnership – is possible.

Another approach comes from Karley Sciortino in her recent article for Vogue Daily, entitled: “About Last Night: That Time I Went to a Sex Party.” 

She attended an invitee-only “orgy” of  “almost 100 people” with some trepidation. What struck her was how the nice and respectful the attendees were. They were fastidious communicators, who set and accepted clear boundaries and seemed more open and honest than so-called “normal” couples. Despite the freely expressed intimacy on display, she noted that the regular relationship insecurities and jealousy were not present—they didn’t look like couples that were about to break apart.

I love the frank honesty of Sciortino’s writing. The dynamic she witnessed and participated in (before falling asleep from imbibing too much to calm herself), led her to admit: “Since keeping jealousy in check and feeling secure can be the hardest parts of maintaining a relationship for me, I began to wonder if nonmonogamy could teach me something on a deeper level that monogamy couldn’t—if perhaps these orgy people were really onto something.”

They may, indeed, be onto something. 

As Dieter Duhm says, nonmonogamy challenges us to attain a “higher order”. 

He explains: “As soon as real trust arises, the contradiction [between freedom and commitment] is already dissolved, for it is self-evident that both partners again and again have lust for others, and it is also self-evident that a genuine love relationship does not break apart because of this. Jealousy does not belong to love. We need some time to rid ourselves of the old conditioning.”

When “secret mistrust” is overcome, he says that both genders are free to confess their joys of multi-partner sex, and are also free to cement long-term, loving partnerships.

The idea of a couple ‘sharing’ each other with other partners as a way to actually strengthen their commitment and to grow their sexual love with each other seems counterintuitive. But many people who have experienced this dynamic, like the co-workers of Tamera, say it is indeed possible. Somewhere along this path lies the synthesis of beautiful, deep, lifelong commitment, within the beautiful framework of freedom.

I can say this is absolutely true for Willow and I. Never have I felt such deep mutual commitment. Yet our relationship is open and free. There is true joy for each other in this dynamic.

For us the foundation lies in what we call the ‘spirituality of sharing’. That is, the sharing of treasures and blessings we are given (since we don’t actually own anything) is one of very basic and practical ways we express our love for others. And this human desire to share, out of love, is one of the rich keys to human survival and progress. If something gives us joy and sustenance, we make the collective better and stronger by sharing it with them. Our truest love partner is perhaps our greatest joy and blessing. Why would we not want to freely share him or her? The desire to increase the joy and strength of the collective is one of the keys to compersion, which is the opposite of jealousy.

In addition, we believe that full spectrum, honoring, respectful, loving sexual energy is healing, for both the giver and receiver. Why would we not share the unique healing gifts of our partner?

But what of monogamy (intimacy with only one partner)? Can it exist within this framework? I think the answer is yes. 

Willow and I are not strictly polyamorists or monogamists. Like Dieter Duhm we are ‘free-loveists’ (not to be confused with the 1960s ‘sleep with anyone at anytime’ use of that term). As with the Tamera philosophy, freedom provides the springboard for deeper love. If a couple decides to be exclusively sexual with each other (in a monogamist way) from a place of freedom and compersion, then who is to judge? Indeed, those who participated in the infamous Kerista Commune ‘group-marriage’ embraced both exclusive and multi-partner paths with their lovers after leaving. Those that choose monogamy after experiencing freedom and compersion do so from an “enlightened” standpoint.

The problem with mainstream society, which Karley Sciortino and all of us have struggled with, is that most relationships are based on scarcity, possession and an ethos of ownership, rather than freedom, compersion and a spirituality of sharing. Not surprisingly, jealousy, conflict and terrible violence are rampant.  And for those that wait for their soul mate to appear in their lives, this holding back for the ‘one and only’ can be a lonely path.  In ‘free love’ there is no need to constrain ourselves to loving only the perfect one, but each one that we feel attracted to.  

Yes, open, honest, honoring nonmonogamy is scary as hell. But it has the potential to help us synthesize our deepest, seemingly contradictory, desires and grow us into an experience of love at a higher level, one that is not based on limitation, but on the pure, abundant love that springs from us so naturally.   This is the stuff of true, lifelong connections and strong, loving communal bonds.

Stop… and Be

Mindfulness can be summed up in one word.

Stop.

Come to a halt, rest, breathe – even if you are still moving.

Stop, and notice how the smells of a flower, or the damp earth, or various types of food, or the ocean... resonate with your soul.

Listen to how the wind whispers sounds of love, or how the birds make music, or how the thunder rumbles inside you... stirring you.

Your mind will send a constant stream of thoughts to distract you from this practice. But they are thoughts only, having no present truth. One after another, see your thoughts as transient creations of your neurology without resisting them, then release them and let them pass through. Stop and be still inside. You can’t stop your thoughts, but you can stop giving them your attention.

Instead, notice how the warmth of the sun invigorates you, or how the coolness of the rain washes and cleanses your soul, or how another heart beating against you creates a blissful, loving vibration.

Notice the resonant crunch of someone walking on gravel, or how a song stirs you to move, or to sway, or to hum or drum. Hear how the energy of an engine resonates with the energy inside you. Feel the solidity of rock, or the softness of moss, or the smoothness of a fine, silk sheet.

And while you allow your senses to guide you in the present moment, smile at the amazing capacity of your mind to create thoughts worthy of the best fiction writer in the world. Let each story about you, or anyone else – each stream of words – pass on... into nothingness. Be aware of your mind’s creativity, but don’t buy in.

Notice, instead, the rich smell of your lover’s skin, or the taste and texture of a held kiss. Feel the press of their body against yours and how the energy between you circulates without boundary.

Stop... and feel how your loving arousal matches an ocean wave, or a billowing cloud, or the cascade of a waterfall, or the buzz of a hummingbird’s wing. The world loves you and you love the world, even if your fictional mind tells you otherwise. Let each random thought pass.

Notice how your lover’s breath mixes with yours. Breathe them in... and out. Feel the heat of their body, like the heat of the sun. Feel the heat in you. Feel the life-giving, loving sexual energy inside you. Thoughts will still enter and clutch at you, telling you who you are or aren’t – or who you should be – or who you want to be, in the present moment. Stop. Free your thoughts to be just thoughts, not what is... and let them go. 

Feel. Move. Enjoy. Be.

The Nurtured Man

Recently, as I watched newborn Enzo suckling peacefully and contentedly at his beautiful mother’s breast, I was struck by the notion that most men in our modern world have not been properly nurtured by the feminine.

Metaphorically, men are ‘pulled away from the breast’ much too soon.

That is, we men are quickly taught to resist the feminine. Be tough. Don’t cry. Don’t show your feelings. Only the strong survive. Play to win. Don’t be a mama’s boy. And on and on.

This cultural conditioning is so deep by the time that we are old enough to have intimate relationships, we believe that sex is about ‘taking’ pleasure in and from a woman, rather than receiving and revelling in the bonding, nurturing power of a woman’s sexual energy. We don’t allow ourselves to metaphorically ‘suckle on their breast’ -— to allow ourselves to be nurtured — for sustenance and growth. We resist that level of vulnerability. 

Perhaps this is why we have a world that is little more than a competitive sandbox. It seems as if many men are still children in men’s bodies. Or at the very least, act childishly, absent of sharing, gifting, feminine wisdom. There is no true equitable sharing across the political landscapes of our world, no nurturing of resources, no true cooperation or egalitarianism.

Men, of course, are their own worst enemies in this regard. We live in patriarchal societies and seem to want to keep it that way. But this simply becomes an endless Catch 22. It is patriarchal culture that pulls us away from the richness of the feminine too early in life, creating competition and possession as opposed to peacefulness and contentment.

No, little Enzo. 

Stay connected to your mother’s giving nipple as long as you can. Stay nestled against her soft, receptive skin. Rest peacefully there. Never let someone make you feel bad for receiving her kisses and her hugs. Revel in your mother’s nurturing presence and wisdom. Learn to see the world through her caring eyes. And learn to let every other woman in your life embrace and nurture you in the same way.

Then you will truly be a man.

What Would You Look Like if You Were 100% Sexual?

What would you look like if you were to let 100% of your sexual energy flow through you, right now?

Perhaps an image comes to mind that makes you smile. You wouldn’t be alone if you imagine a writhing, screaming, thrusting porn star, which may not be ‘appropriate’ if you are reading this at work.

But I want you to go deeper with that thought. Feel your sexual energy—that strong, connecting, fertile, confidant, hormone-releasing, loving energy—rising out of the center of your body, filling you. You know intuitively how much is deep inside you. What would it feel like and look like if you were to open the doors wide and let your entire being fill with that energy?

Most of the time we massively restrain the sexual energy inside us, to our detriment. But that isn’t surprising in our present day culture. All our social myths and constraints act to limit the amount of sexual energy we allow ourselves to feel—and express.

Even behind closed doors we rarely, if ever, allow FULL, 100% sexual energy out. 

If the thought of letting 100% of your sexual energy flow out through your mind and body makes you uncomfortable, you are not alone.

But sexual energy is life energy. It is the root creative power of all life. It is divinely connected and tremendously fertile in every way. It is good for us. It is ‘food’ for us. It is healing and joy-inducing. It has the power to create lovely, positive, confidant shifts in our ‘wiring’. And when embraced in a way that is honoring of others, it is always positive.

How much sexual energy is flowing out of you at this moment? 

When Willow and I first asked this question of each other we both went blank for a moment, then, after feeling into it, had to admit it wasn’t much higher than 10%.

We, like most people, were not trained to tap into this energy. Or to allow it to flow more freely.

So we challenged each other to express 100% of our sexual energy, right then. 

A warning if you try to do this with a partner: it may induce laughter! 

But a good kind of laughter. 

Like anything, it is productive at first to exaggerate all actions, sounds, expressions, etc, that want to come out. There is no ‘right’ expression, of course. It may evoke a powerful stillness. What comes through you will be as unique as the person you are. Just let it flow! Play with it! 

As humorous as our expression began, the process was extremely instructive and liberating for us.

Two points to make from this.

One, feeling into (being mindful of) our sexual energy allows us to release more of this energy within us during the ‘routine’ moments of every day. The energy will make us more confident, connected and creative at all times. 

Two, exploring what 100% sexual energy flow looks and feels like with a trusted partner helps us experience the full potential of this divinely-gifted power inside us.

Willow and I still have lots to learn about releasing all that powerful, positive energy.

So we encourage ourselves, along with you, to... let ‘er rip

A Call to Men to be Fellow Warriors in Loving the Goddess in Every Woman

Sculpture by Auguste Rodin, 1889.

Sculpture by Auguste Rodin, 1889.

My brothers, why do we need to be so possessive?

Why do we need be so constrained with our women? Do we not see benefit in partnership? Can we not be stronger when united together?

I will be the first to admit I cannot be everything to my wife. I need brothers to work together with, as a ‘team’ of lovers, in order to fully love every part of her. I will admit that. 

Why do we have to be so possessive of our women? 

And further, why in fact do we need to know if a child is our own? Is it not a blessing that any child is brought into our world? Period. And our role—all of us—as men, as fathers, is to father each child. Can we not all be fathers? All be husbands. All be lovers. 

I seek other men to bond with my wife, to be part of our tribe. Her tribe. She will not experience the fullness of who she is through loving experience with me only. She needs variation. She needs to be listened to, cherished, counseled and held in different ways. She needs to be given love with different subtleties. She needs other loving husbands. I cannot minister to everything that my wife is, so I seek partners in this very high calling. 

That high calling, my brothers, is to love each woman in the fullest way possible, to birth the fullness of Mother God in every woman, to allow each woman to expand into her fullest potential. There is something in birthing the fullness of “Goddess” in our women that births a deeper, more rounded, more right experience of our connection to each other, to our planet and to the Universe as a whole. 

So I invite you, my brothers, to become one of my wife’s husbands. I willingly share her beauty with you. She is a gift to me, so she will be a gift to you as well. I will cherish her intimate experiences with you. I will love what you bring to her. I will have no envy or jealousy. I will take joy in the expansion that you bring to her. 

Because I too, my brothers, will benefit from the ways in which you love her. I will benefit from her expansion, from her opening up, from the growing confidence in her beauty, from the softening and enrichment of her spirit that she experiences within the loving sexual energy of other men. I will benefit from the ‘intelligence’ and wisdom you stimulate in her vagina.

I will take great joy in that my brothers. Never worry about what I’ll think. I’ll cheer you on, I’ll give you a chest to chest hug and say kiss her, love her, activate her womb, activate her yoni, open her up in your own special way, whether that be softly or with great strength and urgent desire. Whatever your particular way of loving is. I will embrace you my brother and thank you for your partnership, for being a fellow warrior in birthing and nurturing the Goddess in my wife.

In the same way I say to every woman, whether partnered or single, why is it that I can’t be one of your husbands as well? And not just me. I am sure other men would love to be a member of your tribe of lovers as well. Your tribe of men who cherish you and make love to you. Your tribe of men who minister to the divine temple of your womb. Your tribe of men who worship at your altar, who bring out, through each of our different spectrums, something different in the gorgeous woman that you are. 

Would you not like to have more than one husband committed to this purpose?

Why can’t I be part of your brotherhood of lovers—the lovers of you—committed to enhancing the beauty of Mother God in you. We together, as brothers, want to take you to a place where you feel no lack, where your womb is fully enlivened, energizing your mind, body and soul. 

I want to be part of your tribe of men, your tribe of male lovers, your tribe of men who are committed to providing a safe, free and beautiful environment for you to flourish in, to grow in your nurturing power, to grow in your loving intuition. 

Let us join together, my brothers and sisters, in building a love bond between the women and men of our tribe.  Let us embrace the joy of having more than one husband or wife who loves us, who cherishes us, who will uphold us, who will seek the expansion of Mother God—the full, connected beauty of the Universe—in each of us.

The Ache of Life

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Let’s still our minds.

Let’s still our bodies.

Let’s relax and open our hearts.

Let’s embrace the ache of life.

It’s there.

Underneath everything.

Inside all living things.

Pure. 

Rich.

Like the vibration of a hummingbird’s wing.

The ache to exist.

It pushes us to breathe.

It pushes us to love.

It pushes us to reproduce.

It pushes us to live another day.

Sometimes the ache of life is in a beautiful song.

Sometimes it is in the beauty of nature.

Sometimes it is in the magnificence of the endless night sky.

Sometimes it is in a touching example of compassion or love.

Sometimes it just is...

We feel it when we get a lump in our throats.

We feel it when tears fall.

We feel it in a hearty laugh.

We feel it in a groan of joy... or a scream of agony.

Yes, the ache of life exists in pleasure... and in pain.

Sometimes in both at the same time.

It is why we risk dangerous adventures.

And it is why we make love.

So we can ride the cascade of sensations.

Until we abandon our minds and embrace the yearning just to be.

To touch that ache, the source of everything, together.

Intense pleasure and pain... all in one.

You know the feeling as well as I...

- - - - - -

So let’s lie still and quiet.

And bask in that beautiful, agonizing, rich ache of life.

Which is always there.

Energizing us.