The Nurtured Man

Recently, as I watched newborn Enzo suckling peacefully and contentedly at his beautiful mother’s breast, I was struck by the notion that most men in our modern world have not been properly nurtured by the feminine.

Metaphorically, men are ‘pulled away from the breast’ much too soon.

That is, we men are quickly taught to resist the feminine. Be tough. Don’t cry. Don’t show your feelings. Only the strong survive. Play to win. Don’t be a mama’s boy. And on and on.

This cultural conditioning is so deep by the time that we are old enough to have intimate relationships, we believe that sex is about ‘taking’ pleasure in and from a woman, rather than receiving and revelling in the bonding, nurturing power of a woman’s sexual energy. We don’t allow ourselves to metaphorically ‘suckle on their breast’ -— to allow ourselves to be nurtured — for sustenance and growth. We resist that level of vulnerability. 

Perhaps this is why we have a world that is little more than a competitive sandbox. It seems as if many men are still children in men’s bodies. Or at the very least, act childishly, absent of sharing, gifting, feminine wisdom. There is no true equitable sharing across the political landscapes of our world, no nurturing of resources, no true cooperation or egalitarianism.

Men, of course, are their own worst enemies in this regard. We live in patriarchal societies and seem to want to keep it that way. But this simply becomes an endless Catch 22. It is patriarchal culture that pulls us away from the richness of the feminine too early in life, creating competition and possession as opposed to peacefulness and contentment.

No, little Enzo. 

Stay connected to your mother’s giving nipple as long as you can. Stay nestled against her soft, receptive skin. Rest peacefully there. Never let someone make you feel bad for receiving her kisses and her hugs. Revel in your mother’s nurturing presence and wisdom. Learn to see the world through her caring eyes. And learn to let every other woman in your life embrace and nurture you in the same way.

Then you will truly be a man.