The Sacred Initiation of a Young Woman

In most modern societies there is no celebration, not even acknowledgment, of a girl moving into womanhood. For the most part, young girls are given little help understanding the changes they experience as they go through this transition. Each girl’s unique, individual qualities as a beautiful young woman are certainly not publicly lauded.

The matriarchal Kuna people (or Tule as they call themselves, meaning “people”), however, who have long lived in regions of Panama and Columbia and are one of the largest indigenous groups in Central America to have retained their indigenous culture, show us a wonderful example of a much different experience.

The passage below, from Heide Goettner-Abendroth’s book “Matriarchal Societies”, describes their initiation ceremony for young women. I invite you to contrast this account with your own cultural experience. If you are a woman, put yourself in the place of the young girl in the initiation ceremony, and imagine how it would have made you feel as a young woman. Notice that the celebration is not just for family or close friends; it is enthusiastically participated in by all the men, women and children in the village.

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The most sacred Kuna Festival is “Diwe Inna,” the girls’ initiation into womanhood. For boys, there is no ceremony for the passage into adulthood, and no other Kuna ceremony has as much meaning as this one does. The Diwe Inna festival takes place one year after the puberty ceremony celebrating menarche (which used to be a purely female rite), and constitutes the girl’s initiation into adult womanhood. This is not the wedding ceremony; in fact, that ceremony—quite a simple one—comes later, and includes, among other things, the group game known as “Catch the Groom.” In contrast, the Diwe Inna ceremony is much more significant, and the entire village participates. The girl receives her woman’s name, becomes a full member of the mother clan and of the nation, and learns the matriarchal mythology that undergirds the cosmology of the Kuna.

The symbolism of the Diwe Inna ceremony is directly based on religious belief in the Great Mother Earth. The goddess is the mystery at the beginning of all of life, and the girl in the process of maturating into a young woman corresponds to her. The young woman is now physically, as well as socially, in a position to participate in the continuing creation of life, just like the goddess does; this gives her a share in the renewal of life of the clan, the community, and the world.

In a special closed room, in the presence of twelve other women including her mother, she will be initiated into the most sacred songs, sung by a “kandule,” or song healer. Here she learns that it is not the stag from the rainforest or the dolphin from the sea who brings children; rather, they come from the fusion of female and male eroticism, which is modeled on the example of Mother Earth and her Son-Lover, the sun. The song healer symbolically embodies Ibelele, the sun god, playing on his long, phallic flute. The twelve women accompany him with gourd rattles, the quintessential women’s instrument, because the gourd shape suggests a pregnant belly with its navel, or the female breast with its nipple.

Next, the life story of the young woman is recounted, beginning with her conception, in elaborate song, dance and pantomime. Her “new birth” from the goddess is celebrated, and at the high point of the days-long feast, she receives a newly woven marriage-hammock. It should be noted that at this point in her life her long, maiden’s hair has already been cut by an “iyedule”—a highly respected ceremonial priestess—at the “Disle Inna” festival held when the child is 5 or 6 years old. In this process, locks of her hair fly away like “soul birds” into the Otherworld, perhaps to let the dead know that here is a little girl who will one day grow up into woman, giving them another opportunity for rebirth through her. And even when the hair-cut does not take place until she is older, short hair and the nose ring are the signs of a married woman. Now, at the Diwe Inna, her face and hands are painted with the juice of the sabdur fruit, which is colorless at first but quickly turns black when it dries at the air. She receives her sacred, secret woman-name and is initiated into the secret knowledge of women: menstruation, fertility cycles, pregnancy and childbirth. The male song healer, at this point, is already absent, because the secret knowledge of women is taboo for men. It is connected with knowledge of women’s medicine, and is handed down exclusively from woman to woman; from mother to daughter, or from female healer to her apprentice. There is no comparable secret knowledge for men. Therefore, as the ceremony develops, it is an all women’s ceremony, of which the main role is performed by the iyedule, the priestess, in a dance symbolic of midwifery. After the completion of the spiritual “new birth” the young woman is brought out into the public festivities, and greeted by the crowd with joyful dancing.

In the meantime, the public has not been idle. Each clan is obliged, on the occasion of one of its daughters’ Diwe Inna ceremony, to feed the entire village and to get them drunk on chicha, a type of maize beer. Everything must be available in abundance, to be handed out in the large ceremonial house. Vessels for serving food and drink embody the uterus of the goddess, from whom all abundance comes; the alcoholic beverage is equivalent to her amniotic fluid, from which the spiritually newborn initiate has emerged. It is therefore considered a sacred duty for everyone to drink as much of the “water of life” as possible, in order to take part in the initiate’s rebirth out of the goddess. At the start of the festivities, the initiate will have distributed the first beverage cups, and everyone will have taken their first sip directly from her hand.

In Kuna belief, at the time of the creation of the world, the oceans were made from the amniotic fluid of Mother Earth. So at this celebration, after the first sip from the hand of the initiate, and after much subsequent drinking, dancing and tobacco-smoking to make the sacred ceremonies invisible to evil spirits, there is a great deal of bathing in the sea, in direct contact with the amniotic oceanic fluid of the earth goddess. Afterwards, the participants, dressed in new clothes, continue to dance and drink until the “longed-for child,” the initiate herself, is finally brought into the circle of the celebrating villagers at the end of her ceremony. The feast ends as it began, with dancing, exhilaration and intoxication.

In matriarchal societies, as exemplified by the Kuna, the girl’s initiation is the most important celebration, because by renewing the fertility through the young woman, hopes are fostered for the continuation of life on earth. Every female youth embodies the renewed, life-giving goddess herself. Additionally, the initiate is the embodiment of one of her female clan ancestors, reborn in her, who will now be able to carry forth the life of the clan. Matriarchal societies honor women’s fertility not only because it makes giving birth possible, but primarily because it can give rebirth; that is, it is the ability to transform death into life. It is this spiritual context that gives women their sacredness.

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How did that make you feel? What thoughts arose? Our civilization, characterized by separation, ownership and a rush to modernization and profit, has suffered many losses. It is, however, good to read passages like this with our intuition engaged, feeling into the intrinsic value of honoring the feminine. We CAN reclaim what has been lost.

Above all, this is also an honoring of sexuality, not a hiding or shaming of it. And it celebrates the essence of feminine beauty, rather than reducing beauty to body image. Interestingly, the Kuna only began wearing the bright, ornate molas through missionary influence. Originally, the beautiful designs were worn directly on their skin, sometimes covered with a simple cloth wrap.

The traditional Kuna matriarchal culture, practiced for millennia, continues today in the bush villages of mainland Panama and Columbia and on many islands. The women own the land, handle the economy and the social order is matrilineal and matrilocal.

Why Women Are the Catalyst & Foundation for Polyamory

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In the hetero-normative world, you say open relationship and most men think ‘threesome’. You’d have therefore thought that would be a popular option for many. But as it turns out polyamory, a truly egalitarian multi-partner ideology, is strongly vilified in our patriarchal world. Because what is sauce for the goose, is definitely not sauce for the gander. Relationships where women have as much power as men to own and share their sexuality, are dangerous and scary. But what would such a society look like? We don’t have to look far to find out.

The bonobos are arguably our closest genetic- and physiologically-related species. Unlike their chimpanzee ‘cousins’, much of their sexual behavior (including face-to-face mating, oral sex, tongue kissing, having sex for enjoyment, with perhaps the exclusion of their uncensored promiscuity) is similar to ours.

They are extremely egalitarian in nature and behavior. The females join together to nurture a cohesive, bonded community. One could say the females ‘gift’ themselves to the males to diffuse conflict and to encourage equal sharing. Food is often shared after sex. The males, who take their status from the status of their mother, are not competitive or warlike.

Bonobo groups are matriarchal in structure. The women wear the pants (metaphorically speaking…)! But not perhaps in the way we are used to in patriarchy, because there is no hierarchy. There is a sense of gender equality. While the males participate in gathering food, their peaceful lifestyle is possible because the females make sure no one goes without. The males have little to complain about.

Whilst debate continues as to whether early human societies were matriarchal, many of the tribal societies discovered by the Europeans as they spread across the globe were matriarchal in structure. And despite being slowly enveloped by patriarchal religions and culture, matriarchal societies still exist today. Examples include the Mosou of China, the Minangkabau of Indonesia, the Bribri of Costa Rica, the Nagovisi of South Bougainville, the Khasi and Garo of India, and more.

Heide Gottner-Abendroth has made the study of matriarchal societies her life’s work. The economic pattern of matriarchal societies is a gift economy, she says, where the giving of gifts is always intended as an entry into and a way to maintain good relationships and peace. Women usually control food and clan houses, so they facilitate the gift economy, which can extend over a broad geographic area and gift giving economics of matriarchal societies is deeply woven into a spiritual system.

The guiding image for the economy is Mother Earth herself, and as with earth, sharing and giving away out of an abundance are its supreme values. The gift is the lynchpin of the economy, patterned after the continuous gift giving of earth and sky.

This sharing aspect of spiritual, matriarchal gift giving extends to sexuality. Sexuality is valued highly, with satisfied sexuality regarded as a key to health, peace and culture. A form of open sexuality is often practiced, with the females engaging in multi-partner relationships. Jealousy, as with the bonobos, is almost non-existent. And not surprisingly, these societies are all very peaceful in nature.

In her book “For-Giving: A Feminist Criticism of Exchange“, Genevieve Vaughan, contrasts the patriarchal ‘exchange’ economy with the matriarchal ‘giftgiving’ economy. Regarding sex, she speculates that women may be practicing a natural urge for “co-municative giftgiving” in their love relationships, including their ‘promiscuous’ ones.

Giving ourselves sexually allows us to feel the emotions of giving and receiving ‘on our own skin’. It allows us to do something for somebody else, satisfy a need without actually transferring goods from one to the other.

It is clear that gift-giving, sharing and nurturing are part of female human ‘wiring’. If given the primary ‘leadership’ role in community, women create an inherently peaceful egalitarian existence. This intrinsic and valuable nature, however, has been repressed by centuries of patriarchal culture.

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Thankfully there is change in the wind. Embraced by increasing numbers of men and women, polyamory (a word coined in the 90s, that only got listed in the Oxford Dictionary in 2006) has brought multi-partner, egalitarian relationships back into the spotlight.

Based on the tenets of what makes polyamory work, it is clearly a matriarchal structure. Here are some of the keys to the ideology:

  •     Authenticity, transparency and honesty.
  •     Trust and open communication.
  •     Consent and compersion (the opposite of jealousy)
  •     Non-possessive gifting of each other to each other
  •     Gender equality and a spirit of sharing equally (egalitarianism)
  •     Sex-positivity (modern, patriarchal society is sex negative)
  •     Agreement by consensus.
  •     Spiritual fulfillment.

This is definitely not a patriarchal construct.

Women will continue to become aware of how their role in multi-partner relationships is so key. Like the bonobos, the communication and bonding between the females in particular, form the ‘glue’ of such arrangements. Their nurturing wisdom can diffuse any conflict that arises in the males. Women also seem to better sense the spiritual connection that is critical to such open, egalitarian sharing.

As multi-partner relationships continue to seed the world with matriarchal wisdom and leadership it is time to recognize the “feminine power” of polyamory and other egalitarian multi-partner communities. Let’s embrace and encourage their matriarchal principles and make our world a better place.

Originally published on Multiple Match, found HERE.

The Bonobo Factor: Sex and Food

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Read the introduction to this series of posts here.

Bonobo Love Secret 07 - Sex and food go together better than love and marriage—at least for bonobos.

“Sex At Dawn” co-author Christopher Ryan writes:

Nothing gets a bonobo orgy started faster than a feast. Give a group of bonobos a bunch of food and they’ll all have some quick sex before very politely sharing the food. No need to fight over scraps like a bunch of uncouth chimps!

What does this mean for us?

Of all of Christopher Ryan’s points, this made me chuckle the most. Can you envision it? At the next gathering of your friends for dinner or backyard barbecue? Everyone gets naked and stirs up the senses with some heated, loving sexual energy before eating. Like the bonobos, the group is not concerned about who touches who. Everyone joins in the sensual flow. Everyone’s senses get revved up, “egos” get shut down and the group floats on a cloud of mellow, satisfied, uncompetitive bliss as the food is served up. The meal is characterized by playful food sharing.

There has always been a connection between food and sex in human culture. Some of the most memorable erotic movie scenes show lovers feeding each other or playing with the texture and tastes of food.

9 1/2 Weeks 

Tom Jones  

Like Water For Chocolate 

Tampopo  

We often describe a delectable meal as being “orgasmic”. Whether it is the physical activity and energy required for love-making, or the activation of the senses, people often feel hungry after making love. Nothing like a tasty snack to prepare for the next round.

When we look at a lovely spread—think perhaps of a Christmas or Thanksgiving feast—it has a stimulating effect. The smells activate our senses. We can almost taste the food. Or eyes drink in the colors and textures. We enter a heightened state of anticipation. Bonobos seem to use this heightening of the senses—the excitement and anticipation of sharing a feast—to spur them into sexual interaction, almost like a natural progression. They ‘feed’ on each other’s sexual energy as an appetizer, raising their pleasure bar higher, and then enjoy the sharing of the food.

Type “sex and food” into Google and it returns 1.56 billion results. You would think “sex and love” would yield more, but in fact it comes up short, with only just over 1.4 billion results. “Love and marriage” finishes a far distant third, with just over 600 million results.

The bonobos aren’t the only great apes who think sex and food go together better than love and marriage.

The Bonobo Factor: No Jealousy

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Read the introduction to this series of posts here.

Bonobo Love Secret 04 - Jealousy Isn’t Romantic

“Sex At Dawn” co-author Christopher Ryan writes:

While bonobos no-doubt experience unique feelings for one another, they don’t seem to worry much about controlling one another’s sex lives. Nor do bonobos seem to gossip much...

What does this mean for us?

Jealousy. Whew, it’s a big subject. Too many times, sadly, I have heard someone say that their spouse/partner/lover’s jealousy makes them feel more loved, or that their jealousy indicates the intensity of their love.

This is so opposite to our deepest desire to be loved unconditionally. To be loved for exactly who we are.  To be loved even if we stray outside expectations.

Love is, by its very nature, not possessive. Enter the bonobos. They share everything, including sex. They are free to enjoy each other intimately in whatever combinations they desire, despite having unique feelings of affection for particular companions.

Do you know what the opposite of jealousy is? The word used to describe it is compersion. Wikipedia defines it as:

An empathetic state of happiness and joy experienced when another individual experiences happiness and joy.

The word is largely recognized to have originated from the Kerista Commune
that formed in the Haight-Ashbury of San Francisco in the late 1960s, early 70s. Their community relationship model was described by another word they invented: “polyfidelity” (a group of equal male and female partners, all committed to be sexually fidelous within the group only). They used the word compersion to describe the happiness and joy experienced when one of their partners was sharing intimacy with another. (I’m sure the Kerista Commune will come up again as part of a future blog post.)

Just like bonobos, we have unique feelings of love for certain people. Within the framework of love, imagine not controlling your partner’s physical or emotional experiences with others.  Take a moment right now and imagine that you are watching your primary partner experiencing loving sexual pleasure with another. What are you feeling?  Most often, it is our worry about our imagined deficits that trigger jealousy.  We are scared to live without the traditional rules that appear to provide us with a sense of security.

But here’s what the bonobos inspire us to ask ourselves: if we truly believe our partner is a beautiful person, and we truly want whatever is best for them, why could we not watch them making love with another and feel compersion? That is, to feel joy and happiness that our partner gets to experience moments of beauty with another, and also to feel joy from sharing our partner’s wonderful traits with that other person.

The bonobos challenge us to look at a model of community that puts an end to jealousy.  They say, “Why not try open, loving sexual energy generated by the female sisterhood that keeps everyone deeply connected?” The bonobos tell us that compersion—not jealousy—is romantic.

Hmm... a community without jealousy and insecurity. Imagine that!

Read Part Six HERE

The Bonobo Factor: Sisterhood

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Read the introduction to this series of posts here.

Bonobo Love Secret 03 - Sisterhood is Powerful

“Sex At Dawn” co-author Christopher Ryan writes:

Although female bonobos are about 20% smaller than males—roughly the same ratio as in chimps and humans—they dominate males by sticking together. If a male gets out of line and harasses a female, ALL the other females will gang up on him. This sisterly solidarity, combined with lots of sex, tends to keep the males behaving politely.

What does this mean for us?

Our centuries of patriarchal culture have disempowered women and to some degree ‘separated’ them from each other. The result? A mess.

But wait a minute, you might cry. What mess? Look at our much better quality of life in modern human society. Really? Perhaps we don’t have to work so hard for ‘survival’ in this heady Oil Age, but at what cost to our planet and our longevity as a species? And what about the billions of people who still suffer below the poverty line?

If males had behaved more politely, would our world likely be a better place? Yes.

‘Sister solidarity’ was much easier to sustain in a tribal world. Today, our species is so numerous and so spread out that any kind of global solidarity is a challenge. Perhaps impossible. But that doesn’t mean the principle isn’t worth giving attention to and encouraging within smaller social contexts.

Given the right environment to bond together, women can be a powerful force for interpersonal connection, creative community life, inspiring leadership, more sustainable economics and better attitudes toward our planet. I believe men today need to encourage women to ‘stick’ together and lead. And if the women need to “gang up” on one of us men for getting out of line, like the bonobo females do, so be it. I have no doubt it would work. : ))

Read Part Five HERE

Touch as the Fountain of Youth?

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Skin hunger is an actual physiological condition recognized by medical and psychiatric organizations. I hadn’t heard of it until a year or so ago. Here is a description from an article I copied, but don’t have the link to.

Essentially [skin hunger] is the adult version of failure-to-thrive syndrome. Early in [the 20th] century, social workers at city orphanages discovered that babies who received no physical contact -- cuddling, rocking, kisses, tickling -- beyond the bare minimum of daily maintenance became withdrawn, sickly, and finally died. The conclusion seemed to be that human beings require a certain level of daily skin-to-skin contact in order to survive.
Skin hunger is the condition that applies to later life. Older children and adults may have received adequate contact as babies but, for various reasons, no longer receive that same level of touch. They become isolated and defensive, suffer intense feelings of loneliness... ...They’re also hypersensitive to temperature changes because their blood circulation deteriorates; also, loss of tactile sensitivity is common.
In sedentary subjects, skin hunger also causes muscle damage, particularly in the shoulders and back, in theory because the subjects are always tensed in order to ward off either a harmful touch or rejection of their need.

Another fascinating description of skin hunger and how it is essential for human life to thrive, plus a look at some of the basic causes in modern life, is found HERE.

And you can read a woman’s personal experience with skin hunger HERE.

Extendicare has also released information about the condition, because it is a prevalent problem as people near end of life. I can understand this, from visiting the old age home my mother was a resident of during the final year of her life. As we near end of life our bodies often become broken, twisted and diseased. Even though we may love our elders dearly, it is often hard to bring ourselves to lovingly touch them. And I don’t mean a pat on the shoulder, or a rub on the back, or even just holding their hand, although all are good. I mean really lovingly touch them. Skin is our biggest organ. For health benefits, our skin needs attention all over. But we are often held back by a litany of fears.

That got me thinking about how, as a rule, we begin to withdraw from touching and being touched as we get older. There are many reasons for this. Too many to list here. But the point is, in general, that someone who is in their 60s or 70s (or older) will likely have far less touch in their life than someone in their 20s or 30s. Especially intimate touch, the kind that generates loving sexual energy in the body.

I can’t find any long term scientific studies that explore the effect of regular intimate touch on well-being and longevity (please send us a link if you know of one), but it would not surprise me to discover that constant access to loving touch is akin to a fountain of youth, or youthfulness.

For anyone who has experienced the various forms of therapeutic touch, there is no question they have a powerful, positive effect on us. We feel more relaxed and vital as a result. We experience the same enhanced vitality after shared, expectation-free, intimate touch, especially if it is not rushed, and even more especially if it ends in orgasmic bliss.

For me it is no surprise that human bodies in our modern, fragmented, touch-deprived cultures begin to rapidly deteriorate as we get older. We need to break down barriers and allow ourselves to touch each other more. Imagine if you were part of a community of people who were committed to giving you loving, honoring touch—to enlivening the big skin organ of your body—right to your passing from this life to the next. No skin hunger, ever. Extended vitality. That makes me smile. How about you?

Perhaps I'll let reknowned poet Stanley Kunitz have the final say on this, reading his final poem, "Touch Me".

The Bonobo Factor: Sexy Feminism

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Read the introduction to this series of posts here.

Bonobo Love Secret 02 - Feminism Can Be Very Sexy

“Sex At Dawn” co-author Christopher Ryan writes:

When females are in charge, everyone lives better (including the males). While male chimps run the show, among bonobos, it’s the females who are in charge, with much better quality of life for everyone involved (see #1 -- more sex = less conflict).

What does this mean for us?

Well, first off, it means we have things seriously backwards.

Today our world is almost completely patriarchal in nature. It wasn’t always this way. Human beings, after all, have been around for a very long time. A common number that archaeologists use for the existence of “modern humans” is about 200,000 years. By our current measurement of time, we call it 2013. Hmm... so that means we’ve been around for almost 1,000 times as long as the period from Christ’s existence to the present. Yes, we’ve been here a very long time.

In her book, “When God Was A Woman”, Merlin Stone looks beyond our 2000 years of Christianity to find lots of evidence of Goddess worship throughout pre-history. While some of her findings have been hotly debated, she shows that female divinity was recognized, worshipped and integrated into societal structures throughout pre-history.

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Ryan and Metha in “Sex At Dawn” cite work by early anthropologists, who described the lifestyles of newly discovered indigenous peoples and tribes as Europeans spread across the globe, which supports this. Many of these peoples, absent of any influence for multiple millennia, were discovered to be matriarchal in worship and social structure, fostering a peaceful, prosperous and egalitarian way of life guided by the wise intuition of the women.

In a recent conversation with a Deputy Chief of a First Nations tribe in British Columbia, Willow and I were moved to hear about their peaceful matriarchal ways that lasted until the government intervened in the middle of the last century.

Indeed, Heide Gottner-Abendroth, in her seminal work “Matriarchal Societies”, describes in detail many peaceful and prosperous matriarchal societies that still exist to present day. Ironically, they are almost completely ignored by social scientists exploring human social behavior. Her extensive work identifies the many benefits these societies enjoy with women in charge.

What is interesting is that ‘women in charge’ looks very different from ‘men in charge’. In other words, matriarchal social organization is not just patriarchy with women at the top instead of men. It takes on a completely new type of power structure that is based on collaboration, egalitarianism and prosperity for all.

While our current patriarchal societies have proven to disempower women, matriarchal societies not only empower women to utilize their nurturing wisdom, they also empower men. We hope to touch on many of the reasons why this is so in future posts.

What does this mean for us? The bonobos urge us to look more closely at matriarchal societies throughout history and begin to explore how matriarchal community living might help us shift stale male-centric social paradigms.

Read Part Four HERE

The Bonobo Factor: More Sex

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Read the introduction to this series of posts here.

Bonobo Secret To Love 01 - More Sex = Less Conflict

“Sex At Dawn” co-author Christopher Ryan writes:

As the great primatologist, Frans de Waal put it, “Chimps use violence to get sex, while bonobos use sex to avoid violence.” While chimps victimize each other in many ways—rape, murder, infanticide, warfare between groups—there’s never been a single observed case of any of these forms of aggression among bonobos, who are much sexier than chimps. As James Prescott demonstrated in a meta-analysis of all available anthropological data, the connection between less restrictive sexuality and less conflict generally holds true for human societies as well.

What does this mean for us?

From a personal standpoint, when I think of times that I have been angry, or prone to irrational emotion, I know intuitively that if a woman companion started to insistently touch and flirt with me, and perhaps erotically expose herself (all bonobo tendencies), to the extent that I could not resist engaging in sexual activity with her, my mood would completely change. My potentially conflict-causing emotions would rapidly dissipate.

This is consistent with scientific findings that show that the area of the male and female brain that generates “ego” shuts off during orgasm. This video by AsapScience, called “The Science of Orgasms” presents a good, quick summary of what happens with the mind and body during orgasm.

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I had a partner once, who insistently gave me three successive rounds of orgasmic oral sex, about 15 minutes apart. Each time she assured me she expected nothing in return. Just enjoy. I was surprised, at the time, by the profound effect it had on me. I have no trouble saying that she turned me into male ‘putty’. That is, aggression of any kind was the furthest thing from my mind. I was in a state of very agreeable, euphoric relaxation.

I have no doubt that female-inspired, loving sexual activity of all forms would rapidly diffuse male aggression within a group. Can we imagine a community where open sexual energy is lovingly employed by the wise female ‘community core’ for conflict resolution and bond nurturing? Obviously, we would have to get over our developed predilection for possessive monogamy and feelings of jealousy (more on this in later points), which is easier said than done based on our cultural conditioning, but, as Christopher Ryan alludes to in his closing comment, there have been interesting examples of successful, peaceful, abundant communities with an “open loving sex” dynamic similar to bonobos, past and present (more on this in future posts).

It is sad that we are conditioned to think that more sex equals more guilt and shame, and likely, therefore, more violence. The bonobos show us that exactly the opposite might be true and challenge us to shift our thinking and the way we live.

Read Part Three HERE