A Call to Men to be Fellow Warriors in Loving the Goddess in Every Woman

 Sculpture by Auguste Rodin, 1889.

Sculpture by Auguste Rodin, 1889.

My brothers, why do we need to be so possessive?

Why do we need be so constrained with our women? Do we not see benefit in partnership? Can we not be stronger when united together?

I will be the first to admit I cannot be everything to my wife. I need brothers to work together with, as a ‘team’ of lovers, in order to fully love every part of her. I will admit that. 

Why do we have to be so possessive of our women? 

And further, why in fact do we need to know if a child is our own? Is it not a blessing that any child is brought into our world? Period. And our role—all of us—as men, as fathers, is to father each child. Can we not all be fathers? All be husbands. All be lovers. 

I seek other men to bond with my wife, to be part of our tribe. Her tribe. She will not experience the fullness of who she is through loving experience with me only. She needs variation. She needs to be listened to, cherished, counseled and held in different ways. She needs to be given love with different subtleties. She needs other loving husbands. I cannot minister to everything that my wife is, so I seek partners in this very high calling. 

That high calling, my brothers, is to love each woman in the fullest way possible, to birth the fullness of Mother God in every woman, to allow each woman to expand into her fullest potential. There is something in birthing the fullness of “Goddess” in our women that births a deeper, more rounded, more right experience of our connection to each other, to our planet and to the Universe as a whole. 

So I invite you, my brothers, to become one of my wife’s husbands. I willingly share her beauty with you. She is a gift to me, so she will be a gift to you as well. I will cherish her intimate experiences with you. I will love what you bring to her. I will have no envy or jealousy. I will take joy in the expansion that you bring to her. 

Because I too, my brothers, will benefit from the ways in which you love her. I will benefit from her expansion, from her opening up, from the growing confidence in her beauty, from the softening and enrichment of her spirit that she experiences within the loving sexual energy of other men. I will benefit from the ‘intelligence’ and wisdom you stimulate in her vagina.

I will take great joy in that my brothers. Never worry about what I’ll think. I’ll cheer you on, I’ll give you a chest to chest hug and say kiss her, love her, activate her womb, activate her yoni, open her up in your own special way, whether that be softly or with great strength and urgent desire. Whatever your particular way of loving is. I will embrace you my brother and thank you for your partnership, for being a fellow warrior in birthing and nurturing the Goddess in my wife.

In the same way I say to every woman, whether partnered or single, why is it that I can’t be one of your husbands as well? And not just me. I am sure other men would love to be a member of your tribe of lovers as well. Your tribe of men who cherish you and make love to you. Your tribe of men who minister to the divine temple of your womb. Your tribe of men who worship at your altar, who bring out, through each of our different spectrums, something different in the gorgeous woman that you are. 

Would you not like to have more than one husband committed to this purpose?

Why can’t I be part of your brotherhood of lovers—the lovers of you—committed to enhancing the beauty of Mother God in you. We together, as brothers, want to take you to a place where you feel no lack, where your womb is fully enlivened, energizing your mind, body and soul. 

I want to be part of your tribe of men, your tribe of male lovers, your tribe of men who are committed to providing a safe, free and beautiful environment for you to flourish in, to grow in your nurturing power, to grow in your loving intuition. 

Let us join together, my brothers and sisters, in building a love bond between the women and men of our tribe.  Let us embrace the joy of having more than one husband or wife who loves us, who cherishes us, who will uphold us, who will seek the expansion of Mother God—the full, connected beauty of the Universe—in each of us.

The Bonobo Factor: No Jealousy

Jealousy02.jpg

Read the introduction to this series of posts here.

Bonobo Love Secret 04 - Jealousy Isn’t Romantic

“Sex At Dawn” co-author Christopher Ryan writes:

While bonobos no-doubt experience unique feelings for one another, they don’t seem to worry much about controlling one another’s sex lives. Nor do bonobos seem to gossip much...

What does this mean for us?

Jealousy. Whew, it’s a big subject. Too many times, sadly, I have heard someone say that their spouse/partner/lover’s jealousy makes them feel more loved, or that their jealousy indicates the intensity of their love.

This is so opposite to our deepest desire to be loved unconditionally. To be loved for exactly who we are.  To be loved even if we stray outside expectations.

Love is, by its very nature, not possessive. Enter the bonobos. They share everything, including sex. They are free to enjoy each other intimately in whatever combinations they desire, despite having unique feelings of affection for particular companions.

Do you know what the opposite of jealousy is? The word used to describe it is compersion. Wikipedia defines it as:

An empathetic state of happiness and joy experienced when another individual experiences happiness and joy.

The word is largely recognized to have originated from the Kerista Commune
that formed in the Haight-Ashbury of San Francisco in the late 1960s, early 70s. Their community relationship model was described by another word they invented: “polyfidelity” (a group of equal male and female partners, all committed to be sexually fidelous within the group only). They used the word compersion to describe the happiness and joy experienced when one of their partners was sharing intimacy with another. (I’m sure the Kerista Commune will come up again as part of a future blog post.)

Just like bonobos, we have unique feelings of love for certain people. Within the framework of love, imagine not controlling your partner’s physical or emotional experiences with others.  Take a moment right now and imagine that you are watching your primary partner experiencing loving sexual pleasure with another. What are you feeling?  Most often, it is our worry about our imagined deficits that trigger jealousy.  We are scared to live without the traditional rules that appear to provide us with a sense of security.

But here’s what the bonobos inspire us to ask ourselves: if we truly believe our partner is a beautiful person, and we truly want whatever is best for them, why could we not watch them making love with another and feel compersion? That is, to feel joy and happiness that our partner gets to experience moments of beauty with another, and also to feel joy from sharing our partner’s wonderful traits with that other person.

The bonobos challenge us to look at a model of community that puts an end to jealousy.  They say, “Why not try open, loving sexual energy generated by the female sisterhood that keeps everyone deeply connected?” The bonobos tell us that compersion—not jealousy—is romantic.

Hmm... a community without jealousy and insecurity. Imagine that!

Read Part Six HERE