We Are Stuck in a Sexual Catch 22

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The other day a good friend suggested that sexual desire and sexual urges are from our ‘lower’ or ‘base’ nature.

Or sometimes we hear it described as our ‘animal’ nature.

I think this is a pretty common view in our culture.

We hear constantly about “our obsession with sex”. The word ‘obsession’ delivers the same message, that sex is a human urge out of control. It sends the negative message that we have let our lower nature overpower our higher nature. And most people seem to agree this is true, based on the proliferation of porn online, the popularity of behaviors like ‘sexting’ and sending naked ‘selfies’, the use of sexual imagery in almost every form of advertising and entertainment and the constant stories of sexual crimes in the media.

Welcome to the human ‘Catch 22’.

On the one hand we are constantly told, in many subtle and not-so-subtle ways, that our sexual energy is a low, base, animalistic urge that must be controlled, yet on the other hand we are born with a built in ‘furnace’ of sexual desires—urges that want to be expressed and fully experienced.

Kim Anami, noted life and sexuality coach, describes it as our bipolar attitude towards sex. I like that analogy. We fluctuate between engaging willingly in sexual energy and then attempting to transcend it, riding the rollercoaster of opening up, then shutting down, opening up, shutting down, etc.

Even if we find a sexual partner with whom we are able to experience true sexual bliss—a partner who has given the space and safety to allow us to be fully open and vulnerable—we often subtly censor, or ‘make private’ that experience, as if it is something special we can’t share. This censoring more accurately reflects a learned discomfort about revealing that we have given in to our animalistic nature; knowing such behavior within our culture of ‘transcendence’ will almost surely lower other people’s view of us.

So how do we escape this sexual energy ‘Catch 22’?

In any process of inquiry, I love flipping things upside down to see if the reverse view holds a revealing perspective.

The common cultural view is that we must elevate ourselves from ‘unconscious’, animal body urges and desires into a state of spiritual consciousness, free from the physical world.

The reverse view would be this: we must elevate ourselves from ‘unconscious’ spiritual urges and desires into a state of body consciousness, free from the spiritual world.

Does this statement make sense to you, on any level? It may sound odd, on first reading, but if we dig into it a bit, I think it does make sense. Profound sense, actually.

First, we are definitely part of the physical world. We share energy within the physical system we call planet Earth. When we die, the energy that comprises our physical human body gets returned into the system.

Second, because of our ability to be conscious of our actions, thoughts and emotions, we almost intrinsically ‘elevate’ ourselves above the rest of our energy system (including all other living beings). We also naturally question everything. We wonder about the how and why of our existence. So we have this unconscious, intrinsic urge to be spiritual.

Third, many people on their path of enlightenment say the moment they “landed in their body” was significant. Truly landing in, accepting and rejoicing in our body, and its connection with everything else, seems consistent with the reverse view; that we need to elevate ourselves into a state of higher body consciousness.

Fourth, one of the reasons we use the word “lower” for sexual urges is because we consider our genitals (or root chakra) to be physically below our brain (or crown chakra). But I have no problem considering the reverse. If you think about it, there is no up or down in the universe. We tend to think up is into the sky and out into space. But the Earth, which we are part of, could just as easily be up. Our planet is round, so there is no empirical up or down. We are simply attached to the Earth. Who is to say our genitals don’t actually reside in a physically higher position, in relation to our source?

Fifth, the last phrase, about us becoming “free from the spiritual world”, is for me a truism in the sense that we need to be freed from the notion of transcending the physical.

So, perhaps our way to escape our human Catch 22 is to understand that we have things backwards.

What we call our lower nature is actually our higher nature. Instead of transcending FROM our lower selves to achieve a closer ‘walk with God’, we need to elevate our consciousness INTO our higher, creative, sexually-energized selves—the physical world—where ‘God’ actually resides.

Sexual energy is life energy, after all. There would be no life without it. Sexual energy is creative, generative ‘God’ or ‘Source’ energy, right inside us, and in all living things. Sexual energy is what makes us, and all facets of the beautiful planet we live on, tick.

And once we understand this, an ironic transformation takes place. Elevating ourselves into body and Earth consciousness actually elevates us into spiritual consciousness—the very thing we unconsciously desired in the first place. We don’t need to transcend our lower nature to achieve spirituality. Instead, we need to transcend into it, to embrace our true spiritual connection to the Universe—to God, Mother God, Source, or however you refer to the Creator of all things.

Truly understanding that sexual energy, and the love that it generates, is spiritual, causes us to honor our sexuality, instead of hiding and shaming it. We would honor one another—and our whole planetary system—much more deeply with this perception firmly embedded in our consciousness. In this respect, there would be no need to control or constrain sexual energy or our bodies. We would not be afraid of sharing sexual energy freely as a way of deeply loving and honoring ourselves and others.

What a joy it is to know that we can openly embrace and stoke the furnace of sexual desire inside us, surrendering ourselves to the total bliss of divine, healing, creative, loving sexual energy.

Embracing Our Sexually Energetic Being-ness

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Speak this truth to yourself:

I am a sexually energetic being.

Sexual energy flows through me, and all things.

The same divine power that created all life, which allows life to reproduce and flourish, flows through me.

If I tune my awareness, I can feel the creative, healing power of sexual energy inside me.

If I tune my awareness, I can feel sexual energy in my surroundings, since all life is imbued with sexual energy. I can feel it in other people. I can feel it in nature. I can feel it in the things we have constructed. I can feel it in the sun. I can feel it in the rain.

I can lovingly embrace all the sexual energy around me and let it flow through me. I can embrace the world as wholesome and full, just as it is, even if it needs healing.

I can feel loving sexual energy in the water from the shower on my skin.

I can feel loving sexual energy from the touch of another.

I can feel loving sexual energy from the sun’s warmth on my skin.

I can feel loving sexual energy from my own touch.

As a beautiful sexually energetic being, I recognize my ability to be more loving, content, creative and engaged in the flow of life. I recognize my ability to hug, hold and touch others more than I do now. I recognize that I can generate joy and increase by combining my loving sexual energy with another.

I choose to use this divine, creative energy for positive things. I am a sexually energetic creator, and must honor that free gift.

No matter what body shape I have—whether or not I have given birth to children, have sustained injury or loss, have wrinkles or folds, am small or large or young or old—I am a beautiful, loving sexual energetic being. I am equal to, and connected to, all other sexually energetic beings, including all animals, trees, flowers, insects, humans, etc.

I lovingly honor them.

Look in the mirror each morning and say, “I am a beautiful, loving sexual energetic being. I am rich and creative. I seek to share that creative divinity with others, honoring and healing them with my loving touch and encouraging them to embrace their own divine loving sexual energy to empower and enrich their lives.”

Enjoy.

Men: Occupy Your Cock!

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With the “Occupy” movements of the last few years, the title of this guest post by Triambika, founder of The Ecstatic Awareness Institute, made me smile. Yes, if we men should ‘occupy’ anything, it is our penises. In a conscious way, of course! It also seemed appropriate, after my post titled Going To Church.

Anyone can experience and cultivate the wonderful, divine, creative power of Loving Sexual Energy and all its healing benefits. This website will hopefully enlarge on how simple that is. But there are also a number of old traditions and new modalities that open people’s consciousness to divine sexual energy, elevate men and women into more conscious and mindful loving and enhance the experience of the feminine aspect of the divine. Tantra is one of them.

For any man, or even woman, who would have liked to have, or play with, a wand like Harry Potter’s, this post will show you how you can! -- Manning H.

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Occupy Your Cock! The Tantric Art Of Inhabiting Your Male Sex Organ

Known by many different names such as penis, member, dick, sword, lingam, vajra, pecker, rod, bone, love shaft… your power tool is something you’ll want her to remember. You name it, all men have one and now days even some former women have one too.

Have you ever once, even for a second wondered if your penis was large enough to please your woman. Even if you have a large penis and that thought never crossed your mind, perhaps you have wondered if you were using it in a way that would most please her. Now I’m gonna be honest with you, sometimes no matter what your size, we women simply can’t feel you inside of us. And it’s not because we are so stretched out, so don’t even go there. Sometimes you could be hammering away and we feel next to nothing. Why? Because YOU are not there. Your penis is there but it’s only physical. It lacks the spiritual, energetic aspects that have the power to heal, pleasure and open her into a whole other universe.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that if you’re taking the time to read this, it matters to you to be a good lover. What I want to share with you is going to greatly improve your performance Big Time. But not only will it make you a better lover, it’s going to make you a more conscious lover. Ahh, now there’s something a woman wants to hear. More conscious men in the world please… and more conscious women too… every one of us could stand to be a little more mindful when it comes to sex. After all, it works out best when all of you is fully there.

Guys, if you’ve been around the block with women, you’ve probably heard it all before. She wants you to “show-up”, to pay attention, to listen to her needs, to listen to her ramble on about her new shoes, she wants you to be PRESENT! Ask any woman who has a clue and she’ll tell you how essential it is for a man to be Present, in the moment, with her, right NOW.

Fortunately men already come equipped with an amazing ability to focus solely and entirely on one thing. Now, let’s make that one thing, the ‘right’ thing.

The act of occupying your cock is really quite simple, however not many men are very aware of this well kept secret. It’s about bringing all of your pointed attention into infusing your cock with a luminous glow of loving awareness. That’s right, bring all of your attention to your member, fill it with light and focus on the power contained there in your magic wand. Think Harry Potter only your using your cock instead of a stick of wood. This is best done during intercourse but can also be incorporated before you’re even erect.

It’s unfortunate, however understandable, that some men would rather think about the ball game or dead puppies while they’re having sex in order to keep themselves from coming too soon. While this may be effective for withholding an ejaculation, it’s a complete rip off to your partner who is opening up her body to you.

Occupying your cock is more about the intention you put into your wand while you’re making love. You may only last a short time or you’ll last for hours, but if she’s feeling you fuck her open to the heavens, you’ll be happy you did this.

Here’s a few helpful hints:
•    Imagine using your magic wand to paint her pussy on the outside with delicious strokes of pleasure.
•    Imagine, slowly…I said slowly, entering her Yoni while you envision your penis lighting up, like a rod of light.
•    Inside your wand you have the power to heal your woman, you have the power to awaken her pleasure beyond belief.
•    The light of your cock extends far beyond and far wider than the physical could ever do.
•    As you penetrate her visualize your penis lighting her up from the inside. Move in and out, a little quicker if you want, but remember to slow down to really SEE your cock-light reaching way past her g-spot, into all the dark hidden places where she feels most vulnerable.
•    Your cock-light reaches all the way up to her source of power and even beyond that, into her heart! Can you just imagine fucking her heart so deeply that you could see your cock light coming out through her throat? Kind of erotic if you ask me.
•    But why stop there? Now slow down here, both of you remind each other to breeeeeeeaaaaathe deeeeeeeeply. And imagine that next inhalation taking your cock-light right up through the crown of her head straight to the Source of all creation.

Now that’s what I call conscious sex! Give it a try and let me know how it goes.

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Read the original post here.

 

Breasts Pt. 2: Burning Bras Revisted

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I was 16 years old when burning your bra was fashionable. I wasn’t developed enough to wear one. I was unsure of the political reasons for this craze and was not too interested in it.  In fact I was looking forward to wearing a bra, to going through that significant ‘rite of passage’.  I remember going to the Eaton department store with my sister and my mother for the important event. We tried on several bras, settling for ones that were basically flat with a bit of elastic.

Was I interested in burning my bra? No way! I was proud to be wearing this symbol of my developing womanhood.  It was a new level of status, and yet somewhere along the way this status symbol of femininity started to feel like a form of bondage to my true womanhood.

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Strangely, our Western culture demands that breasts must be hidden. When they are exposed they are ogled lustfully, with little consideration for the woman they belong to. Breasts are a desirable symbol of femininity, and yet also shamed. They are the symbol of softness of heart. They embody the sensitivity of our feelings and an innate generosity. Yet that generosity can be perceived as ‘risky behavior’ if we express it too ‘openly’.  In a patriarchal world, breasts make a woman feel like a unicorn in a world of horses. They ‘stick out’. Everyone can see them. And because we have to hide them, I wonder if we are able to fully experience them as the portals they truly are.  

Breasts represent our emotional nature, reveal our womanly shape, generate sexual stimulation and radiate a spiritual purpose—yet the torrent of mixed messages we receive are muddled and incongruent. Present day entertainment media tells us that only big, firm breasts are truly valued. A man is “lucky” if he is with a big-breasted woman. But woe to the woman whose breasts get saggy, the same cultural conduit cries. Wear a bra to keep them firm. And now we find out, after a 15 year study, that perhaps wearing a bra actually makes them saggier!

Burning the bra was a symbolic political act. Now there is evidence we can toss them for physical benefit. But I think there is a renewed and even deeper reason for throwing off this form of bondage.

I say to my sisters, take off your bra, lift up your chest, breathe deeply and free your breasts to speak to you. Let them be portals of soft, generous, heart-centered messages inside you. The same muscles that support your breasts also raise the solar plexus. This is the nerve centre for the upper body—which has wisdom to share. Lift your heart and listen for the grief, the joy, the fear, the shame, the love that may be hidden there. Bless your breasts for the message you hear and listen again. These messages will not harm you. Your breasts will only bless, nourish and love you, delivering compassionate truth from your core. Free them and feel them... and let them uplift you.

Enjoy.

The Creative Power of Sex

  by Jarzka

by Jarzka

It is a typical night in Vancouver, rain dripping gently from the dark cedars in the back yard. The house is dark and quiet with the lateness of the hour. The moment is sweet with potential fulfillment. My heart is open, my body moves with him. We are in union.

Young and self-conscious, I lie in his arms. His passion for leading a meaningful life drives his way of being. He loves me, but more than that, he sees me as more beautiful than I see myself. I am aware that in the last few years I have already created a belief that I am tainted… spoiled through sexual exploration. Magically, in these few hours in his loving embrace, I am transformed—I am restored to a state of purity once more.

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What took place that night so many decades ago? How can it be that sexual union created the sensation of restoring lost virginity? My sensing is that this is important for us to be aware of—to know this part of ourselves and be deeply in awe of our sexual energy as a generative power.

We easily accept that children are a ‘generative’ result of our sexual activity. What if we took the approach that everything in our lives can be affected by loving sexual energy—that every time we activate our sexual energy we create something.  I propose that we would be much more mindful of what we are up to in the realm of sexual function and more accountable for our experiences.

Historically, human sexuality has been our most shame-filled area of personal expression. We often hide and suppress this energy. But what if we deeply understood that loving sexual energy is a source of healing and creation?

We need to enlarge our view of it—to honour the creative power that lies in all of us and become mindful of the wonderful ways we can use it.

Loving sexual energy gives us access to generating more of what we want in our lives.

Finding a New Currency for Buying Happiness

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Scientists estimate we passed the sustainable number of humans on the planet at about the 2 billion mark. By ‘sustainable’ they mean sustaining a ‘European standard of living’ for all people without adversely affecting our planet’s ability to support us.

Yes, we’re well past that, partly because we live in a world where we think the currency that buys happiness is money. With the proliferation of information through all types of media we are all aware that having a lot of money can buy a person a luxurious life. With enough money you can go anywhere you want, eat whatever your heart desires, purchase as much sex as you want, be entertained by the most talented people, have as many homes as you like, buy the best training and education, avoid ever having to do an ounce of housework, buy endless amounts of clothes, and shoes.

It is extremely hard not to fall into the ‘money buys happiness’ indoctrination of our socio-economic system.

It is no wonder that the studies done by Richard Easterlin, showing no correlation between increasing economic wealth and happy people, have been energetically refuted by government leaders and by writers for such publications as Forbes Magazine, etc.

But, absent of all the rhetoric, I think we are all intrinsically aware that happiness, in its deep and abiding form, cannot be purchased with dollars and cents. Even the most luxurious lifestyle in the world will not necessarily provide happiness. We have been using the wrong currency. Money or Gross Domestic Product will never do it.

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So what currency, which we all have in abundance, can we actually use to buy happiness? I am going to suggest that this currency is loving sexual energy. True, we haven’t learned how to use it very well, because under our present ‘money buys happiness’ system, the currency of loving sexual energy, which provides healing, wholeness and interpersonal/divine connection, has been constrained and limited for centuries.

Each person has an endless ‘bank account’ of loving sexual energy. In fact, we each own our own Mint for printing as much as we want. And the more it is shared in a full spectrum, honoring way with others (with none stashed away in a ‘savings account’), the more it multiplies. And where there is healing, wholeness and interpersonal/divine connection, there is unlimited happiness.

Call For A Vagina-Centric Society?

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So, given this chemical bath, it is fair to say that the vagina is not just a sex organ at all, but a powerful mediator of female confidence, creativity and the sense of the connections between things.

So commented Naomi Woolf as she discussed her recent book “Vagina” in an article in The Guardian. Her book explores the latest scientific discoveries about the brain-vagina connection in women. Among other things she shows:

  • Female orgasm is much more than just pleasure. It produces specific, positive states of mind.
  • Based on the powerful brain-vagina connection, there is no such thing as non-violent rape.
  • The clitoris and g-spot are likely part of the same neural structure.
  • Understanding women’s anatomy and pleasure should lead to more satisfactory sexual experiences for women.
  • Stimulating different parts of a woman’s vagina will activate different brain functions and trigger different emotions.
  • Women have many more “neural termini” in their pelvises than men. Therefore their sexual response is different than men.
  • Beyond the realm of culture and value judgments, experiments show the importance of unfettered female desire in evolutionary process.
  • The vagina powerfully affects female consciousness, confidence, risk-taking and autonomy.

Her book is a needed call to action for women to “rebel” against patriarchy. She concludes that these discoveries make it clear why “female sexuality, and the vagina in particular, have been controlled, abused, targeted, derided and shamed” for centuries.

Rather than focus on the wrongs of the past, as difficult as they may be, I would prefer to look at how they can spur us onward, as men, to honor the amazing capacity of women in a new societal vision. Men, after all, are probably just as ignorant about the benefits of a society where women are fully activated, honored, loved and ‘enlarged’. We need to explore a new model, where the shackles of the past (reflected in the embedded shame and guilt of our modern cultures) are broken, where female desire is fully embraced, where the loving sexual energy men share with their women is seen as a form of divine worship, where we all embrace the power of the vagina to give rise to a more connected and loving world.

God is Sex: The Divine Connection

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If you haven’t noticed, we live in a world full of sex. It requires no specific belief system or path of enlightenment to understand—to really understand—this one simple principle: life could not have been created, and would not exist, without sexual energy.

Whether or not you see and acknowledge the constant flow of sexual energy in the world around you, you know what it feels like. The sexual energy we all experience within ourselves, the desire and arousal, is congruent with the power or force that created life, indeed, created all things.

Does that make it divine? Well, at the very least it tells us that sexual energy is essentially Source or God energy. In other words, at its essence, sexual energy is incredibly powerful, creative and good.

Doesn’t the beauty of our world, our universe, amaze and astound you? Haven’t we all felt that moment of breathtaking exhilaration when viewing the wonders of nature? For most of us, that is where we most commonly experience a sense of the Divine.

Every living thing you see is a sexual being, from flowering plants and trees and insects, to birds and plankton and the largest of animals. Human beings as well. Without sexual energy, life does not exist. The powers of attraction, union and reproduction are in full flow around us at every moment. Even at the level of the base particles of matter the same principles of attraction and union are at play.

Yet somehow, over the centuries of human existence we have managed to develop ways of thinking and behaving that diminish our view of sexual energy. For many people it is scary. Sexual energy must be something to fear, because we have created laws and beliefs, often completely unfounded, which constrain and contain our experience of it. That is, our ‘allowed’ experience of sexual energy is very narrow. In almost all modern patriarchal cultures this has led to an underbelly of life-limiting shame and guilt. We see sexual energy as only part of our experience, not as a reason for being—a root connection to the power that created everything. We have little concept of its honoring, healing, creative and connecting power.

So, my friends, I challenge you to contemplate the statement “God is sex”— or to state that in a different way, “our connection to Source, to the Creator, to the Divine, lies within the creative power of sexual energy, inside us and all around us”— with an open mind, listening to what your body, and soul, has to say as well.

This blog will continue to examine ways to enable this. Such contemplation and discovery enlarges us from a narrow spectrum experience of sexual desire and sexual activity into a full spectrum experience of unlimited, affirming loving sexual energy.