5 Ways to Touch a Face With Profound Effect

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No, not him, I thought when I looked up and saw him. Not him.

This was my reaction the first time I put our loving touch theory into action.

Early in my contemplations, with Willow, about connections between love and sexual energy I was thinking about how hard it is to generate feelings of love just by looking at someone. Both innately and from our culture, we have it wired into us that it is right to love one another. But sometimes it is hard to conjure up that emotion — that connection — depending on who we are looking at.

I sensed that if I could look at any person and touch their face, with a caress, or light stroke, or cradling, perhaps my love for them would be engaged. Actually touching someone at random, however, would not be appropriate. So I wondered if it would work if I touched them energetically. That is, I wondered if it would work if I simply looked at them and imagined myself physically touching their face lovingly with my fingers.

And so it was that I found myself on a 40 minute B.C. Ferry ride from Langdale to Vancouver, surrounded by people, regarding a large and lumpy, elderly, balding man.

The Universe had, of course, provided me with the perfect first subject: someone who did not fit my profile as easy to love. Not only was he rather unattractive by cultural standards, he was a man! As I said, I immediately turned away. No, I’m not ready for him, I thought for a second. I’ll try again. I’ll find someone more attractive. But then I realized that yes, he was a perfect first test. So I looked up again and embraced his face with my eyes.

I was amazed. As I let my fingers energetically reach out and caress this man’s face, to hold and touch his face lovingly, my regard for him was transformed. I felt his beauty. I felt how he was just like me, full of the same need for love, full of the same scars and wounds, full of the same illusion of separateness that we all have cultivated inside us. A minute ago I would have needed mental gymnastics to generate a feeling of love for him. But now, through the simple imagination of loving physical touch, my love for him flowed.

Since that moment I have tried this practice many times. It works in every case, with whomever I regard. The man-made calibrations of beauty in my head have been challenged often, but a true sense of beauty and love never fails to emerge when I energetically touch each face. I began to tell people to try this practice in the midst of an argument or conflict. Touch the other person’s face, in your mind, and see how it shifts the interaction.

This past week I had the opportunity to take this practice to another level. I was attending Caffyn Jesse’s one-week Intimacy Education workshop on Saltspring Island. It was fantastic in every respect. As part of the work, within a beautifully safe container, we have permission to give voice and choice to the kinds of touch we would like to receive. On the last day I knew I was due for one more session, which, by the way, within the context of this workshop can include full loving erotic engagement. As I had breakfast at a little restaurant called the Tree House, I asked myself, what kind of touch did I really want that day?

The practice of face touching came back into mind. As I thought about it, I wondered what it would feel like to actually have my face touched in love, both for me and the one doing the touching. Would it be as powerful as the energetic touching? Would it be healing in some way? Would it be erotic in some way?

I was excited. As I contemplated what I would ask for, it struck me that the person doing the touching could regard me in several different ways and in each case it might shift the quality of the touching and the emotion generated.

So I came up with the following five ways for the person to caress and hold and touch my face, with curiosity and love, finding the beauty:

1. Touch my face lovingly as me, as who I am.
2. Touch my face lovingly as every human, with love for the human race.
3. Touch my face lovingly as someone you have forgiven.
4. Touch my face lovingly as someone you need to ask forgiveness from.
5. Touch my face lovingly as you, as you would lovingly touch your own face.

I thought about who I would like to touch me in this way, who was right for this instance, and a couple who were attending came to mind.

I had a strong inkling it was going to be powerful. But I had no idea how deep it would be.

The couple enthusiastically agreed to my request. As I laid on the massage table, the man and the woman each took 15 minutes to cycle through the touch perspectives, telling me when they shifted from one to the next. Almost immediately, when I felt their fingers gently touch my face, I was filled with emotion. When I opened my eyes, to momentarily look into theirs as they touched, the emotion intensified. Our hearts became deeply connected. When they touched in the framework of forgiveness, tears flowed freely.

It was an honor to “stand in” for the human race, for those forgiven, for those who need to be asked for forgiveness, for themselves. I felt cleansed. I felt healed in some inexplicable way. Bathed in their love, I floated on a sensation of bliss for 30 minutes. This is how it is meant to be, I thought. And their experience touching me was equally profound.

When we shared our experience with the rest of the group, everyone was moved. We were given the opportunity to touch the two facilitator’s faces from these various perspectives as a thank you and farewell. Once again it had deep impact.

Trying to love without physical connection is difficult. But reach out and actually touch someone with an intention to love, and that deep, innate, pure love that energizes all of life will get plugged in. Our minds get taken offline. Our hearts get powerfully engaged.

This will become a common ritual at our loving sexual energy Discovery Weekends. I invite you to try touching someone’s face in this way, whether energetically — which you can do basically anywhere, at work, on buses or rapid transit, on the street — or physically with someone willing, within a safe “container”. Try touching someone who is sick, or someone at the end of life, or someone you love, or someone you don’t like, or someone you’ve never met before. Try touching each other’s face from the five perspectives listed above. Pure, healing love will flow.

We Are Stuck in a Sexual Catch 22

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The other day a good friend suggested that sexual desire and sexual urges are from our ‘lower’ or ‘base’ nature.

Or sometimes we hear it described as our ‘animal’ nature.

I think this is a pretty common view in our culture.

We hear constantly about “our obsession with sex”. The word ‘obsession’ delivers the same message, that sex is a human urge out of control. It sends the negative message that we have let our lower nature overpower our higher nature. And most people seem to agree this is true, based on the proliferation of porn online, the popularity of behaviors like ‘sexting’ and sending naked ‘selfies’, the use of sexual imagery in almost every form of advertising and entertainment and the constant stories of sexual crimes in the media.

Welcome to the human ‘Catch 22’.

On the one hand we are constantly told, in many subtle and not-so-subtle ways, that our sexual energy is a low, base, animalistic urge that must be controlled, yet on the other hand we are born with a built in ‘furnace’ of sexual desires—urges that want to be expressed and fully experienced.

Kim Anami, noted life and sexuality coach, describes it as our bipolar attitude towards sex. I like that analogy. We fluctuate between engaging willingly in sexual energy and then attempting to transcend it, riding the rollercoaster of opening up, then shutting down, opening up, shutting down, etc.

Even if we find a sexual partner with whom we are able to experience true sexual bliss—a partner who has given the space and safety to allow us to be fully open and vulnerable—we often subtly censor, or ‘make private’ that experience, as if it is something special we can’t share. This censoring more accurately reflects a learned discomfort about revealing that we have given in to our animalistic nature; knowing such behavior within our culture of ‘transcendence’ will almost surely lower other people’s view of us.

So how do we escape this sexual energy ‘Catch 22’?

In any process of inquiry, I love flipping things upside down to see if the reverse view holds a revealing perspective.

The common cultural view is that we must elevate ourselves from ‘unconscious’, animal body urges and desires into a state of spiritual consciousness, free from the physical world.

The reverse view would be this: we must elevate ourselves from ‘unconscious’ spiritual urges and desires into a state of body consciousness, free from the spiritual world.

Does this statement make sense to you, on any level? It may sound odd, on first reading, but if we dig into it a bit, I think it does make sense. Profound sense, actually.

First, we are definitely part of the physical world. We share energy within the physical system we call planet Earth. When we die, the energy that comprises our physical human body gets returned into the system.

Second, because of our ability to be conscious of our actions, thoughts and emotions, we almost intrinsically ‘elevate’ ourselves above the rest of our energy system (including all other living beings). We also naturally question everything. We wonder about the how and why of our existence. So we have this unconscious, intrinsic urge to be spiritual.

Third, many people on their path of enlightenment say the moment they “landed in their body” was significant. Truly landing in, accepting and rejoicing in our body, and its connection with everything else, seems consistent with the reverse view; that we need to elevate ourselves into a state of higher body consciousness.

Fourth, one of the reasons we use the word “lower” for sexual urges is because we consider our genitals (or root chakra) to be physically below our brain (or crown chakra). But I have no problem considering the reverse. If you think about it, there is no up or down in the universe. We tend to think up is into the sky and out into space. But the Earth, which we are part of, could just as easily be up. Our planet is round, so there is no empirical up or down. We are simply attached to the Earth. Who is to say our genitals don’t actually reside in a physically higher position, in relation to our source?

Fifth, the last phrase, about us becoming “free from the spiritual world”, is for me a truism in the sense that we need to be freed from the notion of transcending the physical.

So, perhaps our way to escape our human Catch 22 is to understand that we have things backwards.

What we call our lower nature is actually our higher nature. Instead of transcending FROM our lower selves to achieve a closer ‘walk with God’, we need to elevate our consciousness INTO our higher, creative, sexually-energized selves—the physical world—where ‘God’ actually resides.

Sexual energy is life energy, after all. There would be no life without it. Sexual energy is creative, generative ‘God’ or ‘Source’ energy, right inside us, and in all living things. Sexual energy is what makes us, and all facets of the beautiful planet we live on, tick.

And once we understand this, an ironic transformation takes place. Elevating ourselves into body and Earth consciousness actually elevates us into spiritual consciousness—the very thing we unconsciously desired in the first place. We don’t need to transcend our lower nature to achieve spirituality. Instead, we need to transcend into it, to embrace our true spiritual connection to the Universe—to God, Mother God, Source, or however you refer to the Creator of all things.

Truly understanding that sexual energy, and the love that it generates, is spiritual, causes us to honor our sexuality, instead of hiding and shaming it. We would honor one another—and our whole planetary system—much more deeply with this perception firmly embedded in our consciousness. In this respect, there would be no need to control or constrain sexual energy or our bodies. We would not be afraid of sharing sexual energy freely as a way of deeply loving and honoring ourselves and others.

What a joy it is to know that we can openly embrace and stoke the furnace of sexual desire inside us, surrendering ourselves to the total bliss of divine, healing, creative, loving sexual energy.

Men: Occupy Your Cock!

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With the “Occupy” movements of the last few years, the title of this guest post by Triambika, founder of The Ecstatic Awareness Institute, made me smile. Yes, if we men should ‘occupy’ anything, it is our penises. In a conscious way, of course! It also seemed appropriate, after my post titled Going To Church.

Anyone can experience and cultivate the wonderful, divine, creative power of Loving Sexual Energy and all its healing benefits. This website will hopefully enlarge on how simple that is. But there are also a number of old traditions and new modalities that open people’s consciousness to divine sexual energy, elevate men and women into more conscious and mindful loving and enhance the experience of the feminine aspect of the divine. Tantra is one of them.

For any man, or even woman, who would have liked to have, or play with, a wand like Harry Potter’s, this post will show you how you can! -- Manning H.

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Occupy Your Cock! The Tantric Art Of Inhabiting Your Male Sex Organ

Known by many different names such as penis, member, dick, sword, lingam, vajra, pecker, rod, bone, love shaft… your power tool is something you’ll want her to remember. You name it, all men have one and now days even some former women have one too.

Have you ever once, even for a second wondered if your penis was large enough to please your woman. Even if you have a large penis and that thought never crossed your mind, perhaps you have wondered if you were using it in a way that would most please her. Now I’m gonna be honest with you, sometimes no matter what your size, we women simply can’t feel you inside of us. And it’s not because we are so stretched out, so don’t even go there. Sometimes you could be hammering away and we feel next to nothing. Why? Because YOU are not there. Your penis is there but it’s only physical. It lacks the spiritual, energetic aspects that have the power to heal, pleasure and open her into a whole other universe.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that if you’re taking the time to read this, it matters to you to be a good lover. What I want to share with you is going to greatly improve your performance Big Time. But not only will it make you a better lover, it’s going to make you a more conscious lover. Ahh, now there’s something a woman wants to hear. More conscious men in the world please… and more conscious women too… every one of us could stand to be a little more mindful when it comes to sex. After all, it works out best when all of you is fully there.

Guys, if you’ve been around the block with women, you’ve probably heard it all before. She wants you to “show-up”, to pay attention, to listen to her needs, to listen to her ramble on about her new shoes, she wants you to be PRESENT! Ask any woman who has a clue and she’ll tell you how essential it is for a man to be Present, in the moment, with her, right NOW.

Fortunately men already come equipped with an amazing ability to focus solely and entirely on one thing. Now, let’s make that one thing, the ‘right’ thing.

The act of occupying your cock is really quite simple, however not many men are very aware of this well kept secret. It’s about bringing all of your pointed attention into infusing your cock with a luminous glow of loving awareness. That’s right, bring all of your attention to your member, fill it with light and focus on the power contained there in your magic wand. Think Harry Potter only your using your cock instead of a stick of wood. This is best done during intercourse but can also be incorporated before you’re even erect.

It’s unfortunate, however understandable, that some men would rather think about the ball game or dead puppies while they’re having sex in order to keep themselves from coming too soon. While this may be effective for withholding an ejaculation, it’s a complete rip off to your partner who is opening up her body to you.

Occupying your cock is more about the intention you put into your wand while you’re making love. You may only last a short time or you’ll last for hours, but if she’s feeling you fuck her open to the heavens, you’ll be happy you did this.

Here’s a few helpful hints:
•    Imagine using your magic wand to paint her pussy on the outside with delicious strokes of pleasure.
•    Imagine, slowly…I said slowly, entering her Yoni while you envision your penis lighting up, like a rod of light.
•    Inside your wand you have the power to heal your woman, you have the power to awaken her pleasure beyond belief.
•    The light of your cock extends far beyond and far wider than the physical could ever do.
•    As you penetrate her visualize your penis lighting her up from the inside. Move in and out, a little quicker if you want, but remember to slow down to really SEE your cock-light reaching way past her g-spot, into all the dark hidden places where she feels most vulnerable.
•    Your cock-light reaches all the way up to her source of power and even beyond that, into her heart! Can you just imagine fucking her heart so deeply that you could see your cock light coming out through her throat? Kind of erotic if you ask me.
•    But why stop there? Now slow down here, both of you remind each other to breeeeeeeaaaaathe deeeeeeeeply. And imagine that next inhalation taking your cock-light right up through the crown of her head straight to the Source of all creation.

Now that’s what I call conscious sex! Give it a try and let me know how it goes.

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Read the original post here.

 

The Creative Power of Sex

  by Jarzka

by Jarzka

It is a typical night in Vancouver, rain dripping gently from the dark cedars in the back yard. The house is dark and quiet with the lateness of the hour. The moment is sweet with potential fulfillment. My heart is open, my body moves with him. We are in union.

Young and self-conscious, I lie in his arms. His passion for leading a meaningful life drives his way of being. He loves me, but more than that, he sees me as more beautiful than I see myself. I am aware that in the last few years I have already created a belief that I am tainted… spoiled through sexual exploration. Magically, in these few hours in his loving embrace, I am transformed—I am restored to a state of purity once more.

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What took place that night so many decades ago? How can it be that sexual union created the sensation of restoring lost virginity? My sensing is that this is important for us to be aware of—to know this part of ourselves and be deeply in awe of our sexual energy as a generative power.

We easily accept that children are a ‘generative’ result of our sexual activity. What if we took the approach that everything in our lives can be affected by loving sexual energy—that every time we activate our sexual energy we create something.  I propose that we would be much more mindful of what we are up to in the realm of sexual function and more accountable for our experiences.

Historically, human sexuality has been our most shame-filled area of personal expression. We often hide and suppress this energy. But what if we deeply understood that loving sexual energy is a source of healing and creation?

We need to enlarge our view of it—to honour the creative power that lies in all of us and become mindful of the wonderful ways we can use it.

Loving sexual energy gives us access to generating more of what we want in our lives.

Finding a New Currency for Buying Happiness

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Scientists estimate we passed the sustainable number of humans on the planet at about the 2 billion mark. By ‘sustainable’ they mean sustaining a ‘European standard of living’ for all people without adversely affecting our planet’s ability to support us.

Yes, we’re well past that, partly because we live in a world where we think the currency that buys happiness is money. With the proliferation of information through all types of media we are all aware that having a lot of money can buy a person a luxurious life. With enough money you can go anywhere you want, eat whatever your heart desires, purchase as much sex as you want, be entertained by the most talented people, have as many homes as you like, buy the best training and education, avoid ever having to do an ounce of housework, buy endless amounts of clothes, and shoes.

It is extremely hard not to fall into the ‘money buys happiness’ indoctrination of our socio-economic system.

It is no wonder that the studies done by Richard Easterlin, showing no correlation between increasing economic wealth and happy people, have been energetically refuted by government leaders and by writers for such publications as Forbes Magazine, etc.

But, absent of all the rhetoric, I think we are all intrinsically aware that happiness, in its deep and abiding form, cannot be purchased with dollars and cents. Even the most luxurious lifestyle in the world will not necessarily provide happiness. We have been using the wrong currency. Money or Gross Domestic Product will never do it.

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So what currency, which we all have in abundance, can we actually use to buy happiness? I am going to suggest that this currency is loving sexual energy. True, we haven’t learned how to use it very well, because under our present ‘money buys happiness’ system, the currency of loving sexual energy, which provides healing, wholeness and interpersonal/divine connection, has been constrained and limited for centuries.

Each person has an endless ‘bank account’ of loving sexual energy. In fact, we each own our own Mint for printing as much as we want. And the more it is shared in a full spectrum, honoring way with others (with none stashed away in a ‘savings account’), the more it multiplies. And where there is healing, wholeness and interpersonal/divine connection, there is unlimited happiness.

God is Sex: The Divine Connection

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If you haven’t noticed, we live in a world full of sex. It requires no specific belief system or path of enlightenment to understand—to really understand—this one simple principle: life could not have been created, and would not exist, without sexual energy.

Whether or not you see and acknowledge the constant flow of sexual energy in the world around you, you know what it feels like. The sexual energy we all experience within ourselves, the desire and arousal, is congruent with the power or force that created life, indeed, created all things.

Does that make it divine? Well, at the very least it tells us that sexual energy is essentially Source or God energy. In other words, at its essence, sexual energy is incredibly powerful, creative and good.

Doesn’t the beauty of our world, our universe, amaze and astound you? Haven’t we all felt that moment of breathtaking exhilaration when viewing the wonders of nature? For most of us, that is where we most commonly experience a sense of the Divine.

Every living thing you see is a sexual being, from flowering plants and trees and insects, to birds and plankton and the largest of animals. Human beings as well. Without sexual energy, life does not exist. The powers of attraction, union and reproduction are in full flow around us at every moment. Even at the level of the base particles of matter the same principles of attraction and union are at play.

Yet somehow, over the centuries of human existence we have managed to develop ways of thinking and behaving that diminish our view of sexual energy. For many people it is scary. Sexual energy must be something to fear, because we have created laws and beliefs, often completely unfounded, which constrain and contain our experience of it. That is, our ‘allowed’ experience of sexual energy is very narrow. In almost all modern patriarchal cultures this has led to an underbelly of life-limiting shame and guilt. We see sexual energy as only part of our experience, not as a reason for being—a root connection to the power that created everything. We have little concept of its honoring, healing, creative and connecting power.

So, my friends, I challenge you to contemplate the statement “God is sex”— or to state that in a different way, “our connection to Source, to the Creator, to the Divine, lies within the creative power of sexual energy, inside us and all around us”— with an open mind, listening to what your body, and soul, has to say as well.

This blog will continue to examine ways to enable this. Such contemplation and discovery enlarges us from a narrow spectrum experience of sexual desire and sexual activity into a full spectrum experience of unlimited, affirming loving sexual energy.