Stop… and Be

Mindfulness can be summed up in one word.

Stop.

Come to a halt, rest, breathe – even if you are still moving.

Stop, and notice how the smells of a flower, or the damp earth, or various types of food, or the ocean... resonate with your soul.

Listen to how the wind whispers sounds of love, or how the birds make music, or how the thunder rumbles inside you... stirring you.

Your mind will send a constant stream of thoughts to distract you from this practice. But they are thoughts only, having no present truth. One after another, see your thoughts as transient creations of your neurology without resisting them, then release them and let them pass through. Stop and be still inside. You can’t stop your thoughts, but you can stop giving them your attention.

Instead, notice how the warmth of the sun invigorates you, or how the coolness of the rain washes and cleanses your soul, or how another heart beating against you creates a blissful, loving vibration.

Notice the resonant crunch of someone walking on gravel, or how a song stirs you to move, or to sway, or to hum or drum. Hear how the energy of an engine resonates with the energy inside you. Feel the solidity of rock, or the softness of moss, or the smoothness of a fine, silk sheet.

And while you allow your senses to guide you in the present moment, smile at the amazing capacity of your mind to create thoughts worthy of the best fiction writer in the world. Let each story about you, or anyone else – each stream of words – pass on... into nothingness. Be aware of your mind’s creativity, but don’t buy in.

Notice, instead, the rich smell of your lover’s skin, or the taste and texture of a held kiss. Feel the press of their body against yours and how the energy between you circulates without boundary.

Stop... and feel how your loving arousal matches an ocean wave, or a billowing cloud, or the cascade of a waterfall, or the buzz of a hummingbird’s wing. The world loves you and you love the world, even if your fictional mind tells you otherwise. Let each random thought pass.

Notice how your lover’s breath mixes with yours. Breathe them in... and out. Feel the heat of their body, like the heat of the sun. Feel the heat in you. Feel the life-giving, loving sexual energy inside you. Thoughts will still enter and clutch at you, telling you who you are or aren’t – or who you should be – or who you want to be, in the present moment. Stop. Free your thoughts to be just thoughts, not what is... and let them go. 

Feel. Move. Enjoy. Be.

We Are Stuck in a Sexual Catch 22

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The other day a good friend suggested that sexual desire and sexual urges are from our ‘lower’ or ‘base’ nature.

Or sometimes we hear it described as our ‘animal’ nature.

I think this is a pretty common view in our culture.

We hear constantly about “our obsession with sex”. The word ‘obsession’ delivers the same message, that sex is a human urge out of control. It sends the negative message that we have let our lower nature overpower our higher nature. And most people seem to agree this is true, based on the proliferation of porn online, the popularity of behaviors like ‘sexting’ and sending naked ‘selfies’, the use of sexual imagery in almost every form of advertising and entertainment and the constant stories of sexual crimes in the media.

Welcome to the human ‘Catch 22’.

On the one hand we are constantly told, in many subtle and not-so-subtle ways, that our sexual energy is a low, base, animalistic urge that must be controlled, yet on the other hand we are born with a built in ‘furnace’ of sexual desires—urges that want to be expressed and fully experienced.

Kim Anami, noted life and sexuality coach, describes it as our bipolar attitude towards sex. I like that analogy. We fluctuate between engaging willingly in sexual energy and then attempting to transcend it, riding the rollercoaster of opening up, then shutting down, opening up, shutting down, etc.

Even if we find a sexual partner with whom we are able to experience true sexual bliss—a partner who has given the space and safety to allow us to be fully open and vulnerable—we often subtly censor, or ‘make private’ that experience, as if it is something special we can’t share. This censoring more accurately reflects a learned discomfort about revealing that we have given in to our animalistic nature; knowing such behavior within our culture of ‘transcendence’ will almost surely lower other people’s view of us.

So how do we escape this sexual energy ‘Catch 22’?

In any process of inquiry, I love flipping things upside down to see if the reverse view holds a revealing perspective.

The common cultural view is that we must elevate ourselves from ‘unconscious’, animal body urges and desires into a state of spiritual consciousness, free from the physical world.

The reverse view would be this: we must elevate ourselves from ‘unconscious’ spiritual urges and desires into a state of body consciousness, free from the spiritual world.

Does this statement make sense to you, on any level? It may sound odd, on first reading, but if we dig into it a bit, I think it does make sense. Profound sense, actually.

First, we are definitely part of the physical world. We share energy within the physical system we call planet Earth. When we die, the energy that comprises our physical human body gets returned into the system.

Second, because of our ability to be conscious of our actions, thoughts and emotions, we almost intrinsically ‘elevate’ ourselves above the rest of our energy system (including all other living beings). We also naturally question everything. We wonder about the how and why of our existence. So we have this unconscious, intrinsic urge to be spiritual.

Third, many people on their path of enlightenment say the moment they “landed in their body” was significant. Truly landing in, accepting and rejoicing in our body, and its connection with everything else, seems consistent with the reverse view; that we need to elevate ourselves into a state of higher body consciousness.

Fourth, one of the reasons we use the word “lower” for sexual urges is because we consider our genitals (or root chakra) to be physically below our brain (or crown chakra). But I have no problem considering the reverse. If you think about it, there is no up or down in the universe. We tend to think up is into the sky and out into space. But the Earth, which we are part of, could just as easily be up. Our planet is round, so there is no empirical up or down. We are simply attached to the Earth. Who is to say our genitals don’t actually reside in a physically higher position, in relation to our source?

Fifth, the last phrase, about us becoming “free from the spiritual world”, is for me a truism in the sense that we need to be freed from the notion of transcending the physical.

So, perhaps our way to escape our human Catch 22 is to understand that we have things backwards.

What we call our lower nature is actually our higher nature. Instead of transcending FROM our lower selves to achieve a closer ‘walk with God’, we need to elevate our consciousness INTO our higher, creative, sexually-energized selves—the physical world—where ‘God’ actually resides.

Sexual energy is life energy, after all. There would be no life without it. Sexual energy is creative, generative ‘God’ or ‘Source’ energy, right inside us, and in all living things. Sexual energy is what makes us, and all facets of the beautiful planet we live on, tick.

And once we understand this, an ironic transformation takes place. Elevating ourselves into body and Earth consciousness actually elevates us into spiritual consciousness—the very thing we unconsciously desired in the first place. We don’t need to transcend our lower nature to achieve spirituality. Instead, we need to transcend into it, to embrace our true spiritual connection to the Universe—to God, Mother God, Source, or however you refer to the Creator of all things.

Truly understanding that sexual energy, and the love that it generates, is spiritual, causes us to honor our sexuality, instead of hiding and shaming it. We would honor one another—and our whole planetary system—much more deeply with this perception firmly embedded in our consciousness. In this respect, there would be no need to control or constrain sexual energy or our bodies. We would not be afraid of sharing sexual energy freely as a way of deeply loving and honoring ourselves and others.

What a joy it is to know that we can openly embrace and stoke the furnace of sexual desire inside us, surrendering ourselves to the total bliss of divine, healing, creative, loving sexual energy.

Embracing Our Sexually Energetic Being-ness

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Speak this truth to yourself:

I am a sexually energetic being.

Sexual energy flows through me, and all things.

The same divine power that created all life, which allows life to reproduce and flourish, flows through me.

If I tune my awareness, I can feel the creative, healing power of sexual energy inside me.

If I tune my awareness, I can feel sexual energy in my surroundings, since all life is imbued with sexual energy. I can feel it in other people. I can feel it in nature. I can feel it in the things we have constructed. I can feel it in the sun. I can feel it in the rain.

I can lovingly embrace all the sexual energy around me and let it flow through me. I can embrace the world as wholesome and full, just as it is, even if it needs healing.

I can feel loving sexual energy in the water from the shower on my skin.

I can feel loving sexual energy from the touch of another.

I can feel loving sexual energy from the sun’s warmth on my skin.

I can feel loving sexual energy from my own touch.

As a beautiful sexually energetic being, I recognize my ability to be more loving, content, creative and engaged in the flow of life. I recognize my ability to hug, hold and touch others more than I do now. I recognize that I can generate joy and increase by combining my loving sexual energy with another.

I choose to use this divine, creative energy for positive things. I am a sexually energetic creator, and must honor that free gift.

No matter what body shape I have—whether or not I have given birth to children, have sustained injury or loss, have wrinkles or folds, am small or large or young or old—I am a beautiful, loving sexual energetic being. I am equal to, and connected to, all other sexually energetic beings, including all animals, trees, flowers, insects, humans, etc.

I lovingly honor them.

Look in the mirror each morning and say, “I am a beautiful, loving sexual energetic being. I am rich and creative. I seek to share that creative divinity with others, honoring and healing them with my loving touch and encouraging them to embrace their own divine loving sexual energy to empower and enrich their lives.”

Enjoy.

God is Sex: The Divine Connection

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If you haven’t noticed, we live in a world full of sex. It requires no specific belief system or path of enlightenment to understand—to really understand—this one simple principle: life could not have been created, and would not exist, without sexual energy.

Whether or not you see and acknowledge the constant flow of sexual energy in the world around you, you know what it feels like. The sexual energy we all experience within ourselves, the desire and arousal, is congruent with the power or force that created life, indeed, created all things.

Does that make it divine? Well, at the very least it tells us that sexual energy is essentially Source or God energy. In other words, at its essence, sexual energy is incredibly powerful, creative and good.

Doesn’t the beauty of our world, our universe, amaze and astound you? Haven’t we all felt that moment of breathtaking exhilaration when viewing the wonders of nature? For most of us, that is where we most commonly experience a sense of the Divine.

Every living thing you see is a sexual being, from flowering plants and trees and insects, to birds and plankton and the largest of animals. Human beings as well. Without sexual energy, life does not exist. The powers of attraction, union and reproduction are in full flow around us at every moment. Even at the level of the base particles of matter the same principles of attraction and union are at play.

Yet somehow, over the centuries of human existence we have managed to develop ways of thinking and behaving that diminish our view of sexual energy. For many people it is scary. Sexual energy must be something to fear, because we have created laws and beliefs, often completely unfounded, which constrain and contain our experience of it. That is, our ‘allowed’ experience of sexual energy is very narrow. In almost all modern patriarchal cultures this has led to an underbelly of life-limiting shame and guilt. We see sexual energy as only part of our experience, not as a reason for being—a root connection to the power that created everything. We have little concept of its honoring, healing, creative and connecting power.

So, my friends, I challenge you to contemplate the statement “God is sex”— or to state that in a different way, “our connection to Source, to the Creator, to the Divine, lies within the creative power of sexual energy, inside us and all around us”— with an open mind, listening to what your body, and soul, has to say as well.

This blog will continue to examine ways to enable this. Such contemplation and discovery enlarges us from a narrow spectrum experience of sexual desire and sexual activity into a full spectrum experience of unlimited, affirming loving sexual energy.