The Ache of Life

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Let’s still our minds.

Let’s still our bodies.

Let’s relax and open our hearts.

Let’s embrace the ache of life.

It’s there.

Underneath everything.

Inside all living things.

Pure. 

Rich.

Like the vibration of a hummingbird’s wing.

The ache to exist.

It pushes us to breathe.

It pushes us to love.

It pushes us to reproduce.

It pushes us to live another day.

Sometimes the ache of life is in a beautiful song.

Sometimes it is in the beauty of nature.

Sometimes it is in the magnificence of the endless night sky.

Sometimes it is in a touching example of compassion or love.

Sometimes it just is...

We feel it when we get a lump in our throats.

We feel it when tears fall.

We feel it in a hearty laugh.

We feel it in a groan of joy... or a scream of agony.

Yes, the ache of life exists in pleasure... and in pain.

Sometimes in both at the same time.

It is why we risk dangerous adventures.

And it is why we make love.

So we can ride the cascade of sensations.

Until we abandon our minds and embrace the yearning just to be.

To touch that ache, the source of everything, together.

Intense pleasure and pain... all in one.

You know the feeling as well as I...

- - - - - -

So let’s lie still and quiet.

And bask in that beautiful, agonizing, rich ache of life.

Which is always there.

Energizing us.

Monogamy vs Polyamory is NOT the Issue

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There are two sides to the ‘humans are meant to be monogamous’ argument, which are passionately debated. On the con side, some say monogamy is separation, denial, ownership, possessive, limiting, compromise, ripe for conflict, selfish, etc. On the pro side, monogamy is simple, efficient, freeing, safe, enabling, secure, natural, creates paternalistic certainty, etc.

There are also two sides to the polyamory (i.e. humans are not meant to be monogamous) argument, also passionately debated. On the con side, some say polyamory is fear of commitment, indulgent, superficial, complicated, ripe for conflict, selfish, etc. On the pro side, polyamory is efficient, freeing, enabling, secure, safety in numbers, natural, creates community, etc.

The arguments have heated up as the practice of polyamory increasingly hits the mainstream. Some monogamists feel compelled to attribute polyamory as a cause of society’s breakdown. On the other hand, some polyamorists feel compelled to attribute monogamy as a reason for the breakdown of society in the first place.

Yes, the arguments regarding the pros and cons of each sexual relationship model are similar. It just depends on perspective, which is surely a recipe for circular debate.

As long as we stay distracted by labels and structures, without addressing the underlying fundamental needs and characteristics of human beings, we won’t get to the heart of the matter.

So what is the heart of the matter?

For me, the disagreement distills down to our approach to sharing; how we decide what and how we share. And how we apply what Willow and I call the “spirituality of sharing”, if we’re aware of it, to our lives.

At the core of our existence is the truth that we are all sharers, whether we acknowledge it or not. We must ‘share’ the total amount of energy available on earth—Mother Earth if you like—at any given moment, with everything else that she is comprised of. Even at the penultimate moment we call ‘death’, we share. Although our physical body dies, our ‘life energy’ does not. Energy cannot die or disappear, so we ‘share ourselves’ back into Mother Earth’s energetic system, transformed into something new. There is no decrease in energy. In the same way, a vegetable grown in our garden does not die when we eat it. The energy of the vegetable is simply shared, and transformed. Death, you could say, is an illusion. It actually represents an act of sharing.

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It is humbling to understand that if every human on earth suddenly died it wouldn’t matter to Mother Earth. Our collective human energy would still continue, and she would share it with whatever life forms evolved after us. Mother Earth, if you like, with inputs of energy from the sun, moon and stars, is an ongoing sharing system of attraction and reproduction and flow. She shares. She ‘gives’ energy to all living things, to all types of matter. She has no prejudice or favorite. How the energy ‘pie’ is split up at any given moment is not her concern. Sharing is a divine mandate for all that we call life, and indeed for all matter. This understanding is at the root of the ‘spirituality of sharing’. (Willow will blog more on this later.)

It is ironic that for all our science and technology and centuries of thought, it was the earliest tribes of humans whose lifestyle most clearly reflected an intrinsic understanding of our connection to Mother Earth and the ‘sharing’ of all things.

Part of our rise to pre-eminence as a species was the adoption of sharing principles as a way of life. There were no ‘possessions’. People shared food, and housing, and land, and lovers, and children with each other. Early matriarchal societies were modeled after Mother Earth’s constant gifting. Sharing and gifting were spiritual imperatives. Women were central to the celebration and maintenance of the spirituality of sharing.  They were viewed as having a ‘knowing’ and special alignment with Mother Earth’s gifting through birthing. And they were revered for it.

Yet somehow, over the past few millennia, we have ended up with a world economic system that is directly opposite the principle of sharing. Our exchange economy is all about possessions, and runs on the principle that for everything we get we must pay something in return. Everything has a ‘price’. This is reflected in the theology of Christianity and other ‘newer’ spiritual belief systems and in almost all of our social structures. The culture of possessiveness has, to a large degree, fueled the debate about monogamy and polyamory.

But, what if instead of focusing on frivolous arguments about labels and structures, we returned to Mother Earth’s imperative—the spirituality of sharing—and let that govern our relationships, politics and business?  

What could it mean to approach all of life with a deep, abiding desire to share without attachment? To renounce ownership? To share what we consider to be precious: money, power, home, land---yes, even our partner. What would it mean? And how would it change our world?

Now that would be a worthy dialogue.

Embracing Our Sexually Energetic Being-ness

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Speak this truth to yourself:

I am a sexually energetic being.

Sexual energy flows through me, and all things.

The same divine power that created all life, which allows life to reproduce and flourish, flows through me.

If I tune my awareness, I can feel the creative, healing power of sexual energy inside me.

If I tune my awareness, I can feel sexual energy in my surroundings, since all life is imbued with sexual energy. I can feel it in other people. I can feel it in nature. I can feel it in the things we have constructed. I can feel it in the sun. I can feel it in the rain.

I can lovingly embrace all the sexual energy around me and let it flow through me. I can embrace the world as wholesome and full, just as it is, even if it needs healing.

I can feel loving sexual energy in the water from the shower on my skin.

I can feel loving sexual energy from the touch of another.

I can feel loving sexual energy from the sun’s warmth on my skin.

I can feel loving sexual energy from my own touch.

As a beautiful sexually energetic being, I recognize my ability to be more loving, content, creative and engaged in the flow of life. I recognize my ability to hug, hold and touch others more than I do now. I recognize that I can generate joy and increase by combining my loving sexual energy with another.

I choose to use this divine, creative energy for positive things. I am a sexually energetic creator, and must honor that free gift.

No matter what body shape I have—whether or not I have given birth to children, have sustained injury or loss, have wrinkles or folds, am small or large or young or old—I am a beautiful, loving sexual energetic being. I am equal to, and connected to, all other sexually energetic beings, including all animals, trees, flowers, insects, humans, etc.

I lovingly honor them.

Look in the mirror each morning and say, “I am a beautiful, loving sexual energetic being. I am rich and creative. I seek to share that creative divinity with others, honoring and healing them with my loving touch and encouraging them to embrace their own divine loving sexual energy to empower and enrich their lives.”

Enjoy.